I am not sure if I should write this post, and I may well delete it in the near future, but right now I need to write. Over the last few months, since September really, things have been quite difficult both at work and later at home. I don't want to go into details particularly, but the upshot is that I am finding things quite difficult.
At BritMums last week I was tearful and lacking in confidence. It was only when Jan from In Search of ... commented on my blog and said she hoped I had been to my GP for help that I started to think. You may know that I suffered from PND with both my boys and my feelings now are nothing like that. To be honest I feel that my emotions and feelings are normal reactions to the things that have been happening. You get to a stage sometimes when life is just very hard to cope with.
Despite that fact I have started to think that I should talk to someone. I don't know what they will be able to do, but I can't lose anything by talking. Its not that I feel desperate or that I am back in that dark place I visited when the boys were born. But I am totally lacking in any get up and go. It has definitely got up and gone. I cry at the slightest thing, have stopped wearing make up, my house is a mess, my work stuff is disorganised. I find myself staring into space, lost in my thoughts.
At work I try to be my normal chirpy self, but that is beginning to go. At home I just want to do nothing. I look about at all the things that need doing and feel overwhelmed. I can't let myself slip into the darkness because my family needs me right now. I must nip this in the bud. I thought that I could make it to the summer holidays, but I don't know if I can.
And do you know the funny thing? I just called to make an appointment with my GP ... first available appointment .... two weeks. I must make a mental note to plan my breakdowns in future so I can get to see someone helpful before I actually fall off the brink ...
At BritMums last week I was tearful and lacking in confidence. It was only when Jan from In Search of ... commented on my blog and said she hoped I had been to my GP for help that I started to think. You may know that I suffered from PND with both my boys and my feelings now are nothing like that. To be honest I feel that my emotions and feelings are normal reactions to the things that have been happening. You get to a stage sometimes when life is just very hard to cope with.
Despite that fact I have started to think that I should talk to someone. I don't know what they will be able to do, but I can't lose anything by talking. Its not that I feel desperate or that I am back in that dark place I visited when the boys were born. But I am totally lacking in any get up and go. It has definitely got up and gone. I cry at the slightest thing, have stopped wearing make up, my house is a mess, my work stuff is disorganised. I find myself staring into space, lost in my thoughts.
At work I try to be my normal chirpy self, but that is beginning to go. At home I just want to do nothing. I look about at all the things that need doing and feel overwhelmed. I can't let myself slip into the darkness because my family needs me right now. I must nip this in the bud. I thought that I could make it to the summer holidays, but I don't know if I can.
And do you know the funny thing? I just called to make an appointment with my GP ... first available appointment .... two weeks. I must make a mental note to plan my breakdowns in future so I can get to see someone helpful before I actually fall off the brink ...
