NaNoWriMo Winner!! Oh Yeah Baby!!!

Oh yes!! 50,035 words. A whole month of writing. A book I never knew I had inside me. I am so proud of myself I could cry. I am now going to open a bottle of champagne.

Yesssss!!!!!!!!

What is NaNoWriMo?

You may, like me, have seen the strange word "NaNoWriMo" popping up all over the web in the last few weeks or months. I had noticed last year and the year before and had wondered what on earth it meant.

To be honest I had difficulty even saying the word .... NaNooMeeeMooo.... NaWriMaMooo..... MaaaNaaaMiiiiReeee...

I had no idea...

To my surprise, this year, I received an invitation from my brother and his girlfriend to take part in NaNoWriMo... or, as I prefer to say..

National Novel Writing Month

My brother explained that the thing was a writing challenge. Write a 50,000 word novel in a month. To be specific write it in the month of November. I would need to average about 1600 to 2000 words a day if I was to complete my masterpiece in the set time span.

Well, I've often been told by people, mainly my husband, that I should write a book. My answer has always been to stare in disbelief at him, them and shake my head. Write a book? Just like that?

I have no inspiration, no ideas... how can I write a book?

Well, Grasshopper ... this is where NaNoWriMo comes in. You just write. I see that other people have varying approaches. Some plan meticulously before November, having plot, characters, history all prepared before the start date. Others just sit down and start writing on the first day.Some adopt a combination of the two methods. This is what I have done.

It doesn't matter if you don't finish. It doesn't matter if it's rubbish. What matters is that you sit down and write. Apparently only 17% of people who try it succeed, but if you do you get ... well, actually you get nothing but a little virtual badge of honour and a feeling of smugness in your heart. You also, I would imagine ( I say imagine as I am currently on Day 4 so 50,000 words seems an awfully long way away) you also would enjoy a very large sense of achievement. 2,000 words a day is no small feat when you have a job, kids, a husband or wife who thinks you're mad...

The NaNoWriMo site is full of forums, support groups, graphs to show your word count and links to Pep Talks. They arrange meet ups in local coffee emporiums all over the world so that you can write with company. I do like a graph.

So, as I say... I am on Day 4 and things are going ok. I am fitting my writing in around work, taxiing children, sport, housework and a husband with a bad back ( say no more). My plan is to write as much as I can early on so that on the days when I have absolutely no time ( and they will come, Grasshopper, they will come) I am ahead of the game.

My story seems to be channeling itself through me from somewhere, though God knows how. I am certainly enjoying myself.

If you are reading this and wondering whether you should do it, I say yes!! What do you have to lose? You might be able to start now if you work hard, or you could start planning for next year. Or perhaps you are reading this next year... in which case... Do It!!

Its free, its a challenge and its not going to be judged by anyone. What's not to like?. I don't think I will end up being the next J.K Rowling, but I will at least have proved to myself that I can string more than 300 words together.

I will come back and write another post when and if I finish....

My NaNoWriMo Challenge. Someone pass me a doughnut...

I am sitting at my kitchen table, looking out into the garden where my washing is drying and the grass needs cutting. The birds are singing and in the distance I can just about hear the faint echo of the Arsenal game on the telly.

I am, of course, on my laptop and avoiding, with consummate skill, all the chores I had lined up for this afternoon. These included scraping stickers off my son's chest of drawers and repainting it a shabby chic cream and also cutting back the brambles from our garden shed.

I am telling myself that I am an athlete in training. Not quite one of the sweaty ones you might see out doing their "long run" of the week - rather an intellectual athlete.

I have been persuaded by my brother and his partner to take part in NaNoWriMo

I have seen this strange word in hashtags across social media over the last few years, but had had no idea as to its meaning. What it stands for is National Novel Writing Month. The plan is to dash off a 50,000 word novel in the 30 days of November. Easy.

I've read loads of books... You just have to look at my Goodreads feed to know that I like to read. Actually turning the tables and writing a novel should be ok ... shouldn't it??

Well, who know? But I like a challenge, as those of you who have been visiting my little blog for a while will know. This seems like a good one. All it involves is a little bit of discipline, a little bit of  determination and possibly quite a few mugs of coffee..... and doughnuts. Surely all good writers eat doughnuts?

My brother, who succeeded in this mission last year, tells me that it is less about writing a best selling novel and more about the journey. Its about setting oneself a challenge and sitting down to write the 50,000 words. He has told me that putting the final full stop on the final sentence on the 30th November is a pretty magical feeling. Only 17% of the people who start NaNoWriMo finish. I would very much like to be one of those finishers.

A 50,000 word novel is the size of The Great Gatsby or Of Mice and Men. We're not talking War and Peace here....

So my plan is to outline a vague plot, think of some characters and just start writing on the 1st November. I don't aim to write a best seller. I'll be happy to get to the end of November without having my husband divorce me or my bottom spread over the sides of my chair onto the floor. (Damn you, Doughnut Fetish!) They say that everyone has a book inside them. I've never really believed that, but I might have some sort of imaginative ramblings that can add up to just under 2000 words a day.

We shall discover whether I can do this in just under 2 months. Why don't you join me? Its free and its a challenge. What's not to like??

A Wedding on the Beach

Camber Sands

Sometimes you go for a while without writing. Sometimes there is no need to write because the real life that you lead fills your days and satisfies your whims. This has been the case for me over the summer months.

A good friend of our was married in August. He and his wife have known each other for 33 years and he has asked her many times over the years to be his wife. He has taken her to romantic dinners to ask. He took her to Juliet's balcony in Verona to ask. Every time she said no. I don't know why. To be honest it doesn't matter because they were always very happy.

Last year they went to Camber Sands - the beach pictured above and one morning they went for a walk together along the seafront. As they were walking along our friend's girlfriend pointed to a lovely shell and remarked on it. G picked it up and was delighted to see that someone had written inside the shell "Will you marry me?" How romantic, he thought as he showed it to L. "Yes!" she said "It is romantic! I wrote it!! Will you marry me?!"

And that was the start of their plans. Their plans led back to that beach this summer to the most beautiful wedding surrounded by their family and friends. We picnicked on the beach, drinking champagne and eating food from wicker baskets filled with scrumptiousness. The bride arrived on the back of a motorbike to the strains of "Born to be Wild" and the groom wept as he spoke of his love for his family and his beautiful wife.

There are times in life when you don't need to write everything down when it happens. Sometimes its nice to live in the moment and savour the moment you are in. To walk side by side with my man on the beach at Camber made me feel so happy. Being able to share G and L's special day made me feel happy. And part of me wanted to keep that experience close to my heart for a while.

As we head into the shorter days, with darker mornings and leaf swept afternoons, its rather lovely to look back at those summer moments. And it was time to share them. x

Blogger's Block and my half century.

After I came back from BritMums Live this year I promised myself that I would only blog about things that really mattered to me, or that I thought would be interesting to other people. Unfortunately this strategy has resulted in a dearth of posts.Its not that I'm not interested in things ... I am, but sometimes I just can't write about them, mainly because I don't want to offend anyone or betray confidences.

To be honest I am in a bit of a trough. Where do I stand in the world of blogging? And does it really matter? I was very flattered to make the Finals of BritMums Brilliance in Blogging Awards this year, but really... I'm not part of the blogging 'in crowd'... if there is such a thing. I don't have a cause to blog about and, to be honest, even I get bored of my allotment after a while!

I think perhaps my blogging reflects my life right now. I am at a bit of a crossroads ... This year my husband and I turn 50 and that's an age where you tend to look at your life and think about where you're going.... where you've been. My age doesn't bother me, but I do look and wonder what my next goal is... I am trying to lose weight and get fit and come the Spring my allotment will come back into focus, but I have no big goal. That's unusual for me because I have always seemed to have something to aim for, some new challenge.

Over the last 10 years I have run the London Marathon, completed my degree at the Open University, but now?? I can't think what I want to do... I feel that I have, to a certain extent, wasted my abilities, but if faced with the same choices I would not change my decisions. I have always believed that you do your best every moment you are given and you make decisions based on your life as it is right then. Hindsight  is a dangerous luxury.

The year ahead looks rosy. We are planning a big party for our birthdays in the summer and we have holidays planned too. We are incredibly fortunate. Perhaps I should just go with the flow for now? Maybe I should just be open to opportunities that arise and be ready for what presents itself? I have learnt, this year, just how fleeting fortune can be. I have too many friends who were well this time last year and who are now mid way through chemotherapy. They make me realise just how lucky I am to be able to do exercise, write, go on holiday.

I would like to learn something new, but what?? Perhaps I should just concentrate on being a better person. I have realised this year that I do not suffer fools gladly. I am not tolerant of people I consider lazy or selfish and, having been loathe to be rude to people most of my life, I discover that I am more than ready to speak my mind these days if I am annoyed by those around me. This is not necessarily a good thing!

So... I am now going to go and tidy my wardrobe. I will not be writing about it, but if you have any suggestions for me then do feel free to tell me! If anything at all interesting happens ( in my life, not in the wardrobe ... its not bloody Narnia in there) I will let you know. Thanks for reading my blog.

If you have nothing good to say, say nothing.

My brother, the other day, said "Why do you feel the need to tell the whole world about your private life? I don't understand!" He made me think ... and I suppose it is a bit odd. I don't tell you everything that goes on in my life, but I do say a lot. I suppose I have always written and this is an extension of my miserable poetry and diary keeping. I don't mean to show off and I don't mean to upset anyone. Sometimes though I may appear to do both. I received a comment on my last post which really made me think. It actually really upset me and put a shadow over my Graduation, which was a shame.

The thing is, I let it upset me. I should have been stronger and taken no notice. I should have shown a bit of backbone and buried the one peevish comment under the avalanche of positivity and love that was shown me by everyone else. I should expect, if I am prepared to put my private life on the internet, that there will, occasionally, be people who are offended by what I write or just plain disagree with me - perhaps they read between lines and see something that is not actually there at all.. That is absolutely their right. I don't expect everyone to think like me. I think that it was the timing of this comment that hurt though. The one day that I wanted to feel that I had achieved something, had done well, had an undercurrent of self doubt that cut me to the quick.

This is my blog. I write it because I have to write to stay sane. I write about the good, the bad, the exciting and the frustrating. I was so so touched by my friend P who told me she loved  reading my blog because I wrote about how crap life was sometimes and not just about the good days. She didn't realise how much that meant to me.

I did think that perhaps I should stop writing, or at least stop sharing my writing with so many people. But no, I am not going to change. I am going to keep on writing as I always have and I will just have to learn not to be upset by people who don't like what I scribble. I have never set out to hurt anyone with my writing. My mum always said that if you have nothing good to say then say nothing and I think that applies to both blog posts and blog comments.

I want to thank all of the wonderful people who came through the ether, some of whom had never commented on a blog before. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for your support over the years. Thank you for making me feel good about myself and thank you for allowing me to have a moment of pride in something I never thought I would achieve. I know I am never going to be a captain of industry or an academic genius, but you made me feel so special and so loved. You are the people who make life worthwhile.

A blogger looking to the future ...

I received a tweet today from the lovely Actually Mummy who was asking how long I had been blogging. It may seem ridiculous, but I had to sit down and work it out. It seems as though I have always blogged!! But of course I haven't. I have been blogging since New Year's Eve 2006, which makes my blogging career six and a bit years. The other thing she asked was "Why haven't I come across you before?" and I really had no answer. I was just glad that she had found me now!

I suppose the truth is that I am an amateur. I write because I need to write to keep myself sane. My blog doesn't have a particular niche - I can't say that I am a Parent blog or a Sports blog or a Craft blog ... I am just a Me blog. And when you just write about your own life, with no real particular focus, you don't draw the attention of advertisers/sponsors. You have to rely on people being interested in ... you ....  and the things you do. Which is not always a given when you are a little old housewife from the South of England!!

me with my Comic Relief hair

I decided a while ago to write because I loved writing and any followers or readers I gained would be an added bonus. Over the years I have built up a very loyal following of readers and I love that they enjoy reading my scribblings. I know that if I am down they will appear like knights in shining armour, angels from the ether to support me or tell me to get over myself!! People like Inkling and Urban Cynic are women I would love to meet and share a glass of vino with!

 Actually Mummy's blog is amazing. I don't think, in fact I know, that I don't have the skills to achieve such a professional site, but I love that she found me and, I hope, liked my writing. And I love the fact that there are so many of us out there, mainly women, who write and share and support each other. We are all so different, but we are linked by our love of writing and our interest in other writers and bloggers.

There is nobody I know in my real life (other than my lovely uncle) who blogs. None of my friends are into it at all, although more and more are starting to read mine. I have found my way through trial and error and still get a thrill when people leave comments or follow me! Last year I went to BritMums Live - a blogging conference and was a bit overwhelmed by it all, but in retrospect it was a fantastic experience. For the first time I had the chance to meet other bloggers, hear how other people managed their writing and I saw, first hand, the burgeoning community of bloggers.

Someone asked me, when I was there, how long I had been blogging and seemed amazed when I told them. I hadn't realised that I was an old hand!! This year I am going again and this time I really hope I can meet up with some of the people whose blogs I read and with whom I tweet ... people like Selena and Kat .

I know some people ... professional writers ... think that we bloggers are an odd lot, rambling on about our children, our fears and our joys, but we are not odd ... Most of us are women who have busy lives, careers, but we also enjoy writing. We don't profess to be journalists and we don't expect to make money from writing, but together we are beginning to be a force for good and a strong community, aware of each other and the realities of every day life. I know, from my membership of BritMums, that there are bloggers out there who have climbed Snowdon to raise money for Comic Relief - others who have joined together to help clean, paint and decorate the house of a struggling mum, and others like the amazing Kate who inspires and works tirelessly for charity.

I am rather ashamed to say that I am a bit of a back seat blogger. I like reading and listening to what others have to say, but I am not as involved as I should be. I think I am going to try and find something that really inspires me and try to do something good through my blogging. What I really love is teaching children to read and to enjoy books so I am going to try and find a way to get more involved with that ... we'll see.

What is certain is that I am going to keep on writing and I hope that people, like Actually Mummy, find me and enjoy what I have to say. Thanks for reading! x

Its my Blog & I Can Say What I Want To ... Can't I ??

There have been a few things that I have fancied writing about recently ... from Donald Trump's challenge to President Obama to a car crash that happened near where I live. But I haven't written about them and the reason is quite simple. I have quite strong views on these things and decided that to vent my spleen and then publish would, perhaps, not be the wisest move.

After all, it is one thing to listen to the radio and and then stand there disagreeing with the presenter, or to have a discussion around the dinner table with friends. It is quite another to put one's opinions in print and publish them for all the world to see.

This week in the U.K  we have seen how damaging internet chatter can be - a man being accused online of a crime and then it turns out he is completely innocent.

I have been very tempted in the past week to fire off a quick tweet in response to an event or another person's blog or tweet, but I have held fire. I am certainly not going to risk tweeting or blogging about a specific person, naming names, if that tweet or post is going to put me in hot water legally. Its easy to consider oneself immune from the big wide world of litigation as we sit on a sofa tweeting or at at the kitchen table blogging while the tea cooks. After all, I'm not a big important journalist am I? Nobody will be that bothered by what I say ...

But that is not the point is it? It doesn't matter who you are, how big or small in the world of the internet. If you write something that is defamatory, rude, untrue, aggressive, libellous ... then there is the chance that you are going to get into big trouble. It won't help your cause if you actually send a tweet to the person you are being rude about either ... I saw a few tweets this week addressed to a particular celebrity which were aimed to insult. Hello??!! Are you mad? Its like putting a big flag up that says "Hello! My name is blah and I am libelling you to potential millions! Come and sue me!!"

Maybe I am stating the obvious here, but to many people it doesn't appear to be obvious as they continue to write things that could be considered offensive and for which they certainly have no evidence.

There are just some things that you have to be careful about. Naming people and making allegations is just asking for trouble. Having strong opinions is fine, but you still have to be careful how you phrase them. I would always hope to write in the same way I would speak to another person face to face. Of course, not everybody is going to agree with everything you say, but to put yourself in a position where someone could actually report you, sue you, is just mad.

So, although I may have had some very forthright opinions this week and although I may have been tempted to write some spirited posts ... they are staying in my head. Call me a coward or call me Mrs Sensible ... I don't mind, but I think these days we all need to think for that extra second before we press the button to 'publish'.

Top blog lists - and why I'll never be on them!

I was just having a little look on Twitter - a place I rarely visit these days - and I noticed a tweet about a list of Top Tweeters. Mmmmm .... I thought ... Top Tweeters ... Well that's a list I certainly won't be on. This is mainly because I rarely tweet about anything and when I do my tweets are hardly earth shattering.

I will probably never appear on any list of fabulous tweeters or bloggers because I just don't work hard enough at it. I am a bit of an arm chair tweeter/blogger. I write for me and not particularly for anyone else. Of course, when people come by and leave me comments, or follow me, or generally show signs of liking me or the way I write then that is absolutely fabuloso ... after all I am as susceptible as the next person to flattery!

However, I don't spend hours working at improving my standing in the wonderful world of blog. Frankly, I don't have the time. Even now I am typing as quickly as I can with my slightly over-long gel nails because I need to get changed for football, have to defrost summer berries for tonight's pavlova and really should be reading for my end of degree essay ...

And anyway ... I don't think lists of top bloggers and tweeters really show the best writers. There are bloggers I have read, in my role as and meeter and greeter for BritMums, who have less than 20 followers and yet they write beautifully, from the heart. The best bloggers, in my opinion, are not the ones who write about things they know will get lots of hits or who write reviews on products they have received for free. The best writers , the ones I love to read, who move me to tears sometimes, are the ones who write about their own lives. The single mums who struggle with their little ones, writing as a release ... the mothers who have lost children, who have children who are ill ... the people who are honest, writing from the heart.

The writers who turn me right off are the ones who really fancy themselves as 'serious writers' and who fill page after page with self indulgent drivel. Now, don't get me wrong - I am prone to a bit of self indulgence m'self - but I don't pretend that I am the poet laureate or an undiscovered genius.

Its funny isn't it? Just because you get on a list doesn't actually mean your blog is the best blog since sliced bread. But it does mean that lots of people know about or read your blog. And that is achieved either by lots of hard work - getting your blog out there by pressing the flesh like crazy - or by being jolly lucky - or, and this is the rarest thing, sadly, - by being absolutely brilliant.

My blog is my place of sanctuary and, if I'm being completely honest, I know its never going to be on a big all-singing list of fabulous blogs. Of course, I would love it to be. I'm not that 'umble. But I don't work all day trying to make my blog well known. Some of my posts are rubbish, some are ok and sometimes I look and think - gosh, that was quite a good bit of writing. So I shall carry on pootling about. If you have made it to the end of this post, then thank you!!

Positivity ... not.

Right, now call me a hypocrite if you will and, to be honest, I probably am ... but having extolled the virtues of positivity like some sanctimonious ... well, positive person ... I now see that most of my 2012 posts have been moans. I plan to continue in this vein with the following post, so please accept my apologies.

Its like this ...

•  I've got the decorators coming in tomorrow and my house is a tip
• I'm on a course until the end of the week so I have no time to do anything
• I'm trying to organise a group skiing holiday which keeps going pear shaped
• I have 1500 more words of a 2000 word essay to be done by Wednesday night
• I have a thumping headache

Now obviously the first thing I would advise if I was reading this would be to ... 

GET OFF THE BLOODY COMPUTER AND DO SOME WORK!!!!!

However, I have been working, non-stop, since 7am and I am due a break.

Its one of those times when I just feel snowed under and this blog is a good way of putting all my worries down on paper so I can sort them out and do something about them. I have always done this - its one of the reasons I started my blog. Unfortunately for you it means that my readers have to put up with a bit of a frenzied moan and groan. As I say ... my apologies.

I am telling myself that this time next week it will all be sorted. The house will be sparkly and freshly painted, I will have a holiday to look forward to, my essay will be done ( by hook or by crook) and this headache will be a distant memory.

Its weird isn't it how things can just pile up and drive you nuts? Each thing by itself is ok, but together they weigh me down. Its kind of pathetic really - after all I'm hardly facing a torrid time. In fact now that I've written my worries down I am wondering whether I should just delete them as I sound like a complete idiot.

Well, I'm not going to delete them. I am a normal mum/woman with normal worries. I am not the only one sitting at my laptop tonight feeling a bit stressed and, let's face it, its better to blog than to drown my sorrows with a bottle of Merlot. Well ... maybe I might do a mini drown with a glass of the stuff rather than a bottle, but hey. Life sends you worries and part of life is getting through them in the best way you can.

If you have made it through to the end of my moan, well done and thank you!

The Liebster Award - I won something!!

I am dead chuffed today to let you know that I have been given Liebster Award by the lovely Tiddler on the Loose blog. This award is given to blogs with fewer than 200 followers, with "good content" that warrant more support. I am so touched as I have recently discovered this blog and have also been following her @pootlehat on Twitter.

Liebster Award Rules

1. Show your thanks to those who gave you the award by linking back to them

Thank You Tiddler on the Loose!!

2. Reveal 5 of your top picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

 Keep reading ...

3. Post the award on your blog. Yup.

4. Enjoy the love and support of some wonderful people on the www!!! Keep posting, keep commenting and keep being positive.

So ... here are my nominations for the Liebster Award ... dadaaaaah ...

1. Memoirs of a Farm Wife  The daily diary of a mum and farmer's wife in Illinois who I have followed for a long time. She is honest, kind and down to earth and shows a little slice of life over the pond that I love.

2. The Paddock  Pauline writes about her family in New Zealand - her children and grandchildren - and she posts photos of where she lives - one of the most beautiful places in the world. Well worth a visit through the ether.

3. Urban Cynic One of my favourite bloggers who I have 'known' for years now. She is honest, opinionated and supportive - writing about her life in Brighton, films and events in the news. I think she's brilliant!

4. Beautful or practical  Louba's blog is written about her life and is such a lovely positive and caring outlook on life that I love to visit - hope you do too. Oh ...  and she sometimes finds some gorgeous shoes!!

5. My Life as a Mature Age Student  Caz writes her blog whilst also studying and raising a family. She reminds me of myself in a lot of ways - but she has 2 teenage girls - not sure I could cope!! Anyway, she's in Australia and she's great!

There are other people I would have liked to add to my list, but some of you have more than 200 followers so you don't qualify! You are far too popular already!!!

I hope you can find time to visit these blogs. I enjoy them and I hope you do too. xx

Quality writing.... and then mine. All good.

I just read a Tweet from someone I follow, promoting 'quality writing' at various blogs. I know the blogs of which this person speaks and he is right. They are quality.Each post is carefully crafted and written with the skill of a 'proper writer'. It made me think about my posts. I have to, at this point, admit that my blog was not on the list of 'quality'.

I think that in the past I have written posts that are moving and well written ( she typed modestly ) but, to be honest, and to be somewhat pretentious even, my posts are somewhat organic. I do not plan what I write. I sit down and start to type. I read over what I have written and correct any glaring spelling mistakes, but generally what comes into my head goes onto the paper.

When I was at University, 25 years ago, I first discovered writing and it saved me. I needed to open up my head and let the words, the emotions pour out of me and onto the page.In those days they were hand written on foolscap paper and stored in a file made from cloth I picked up on an exchange visit to Paris.Looking at my poems ( I was an arts student, remember ) I am amazed that I did not end up hanging from a rafter in a garret somewhere. The imagery of loneliness and misery would make Morrisey look positively gleeful.

Now I am pleased and relieved to say that my writing seldom ventures into the realms of self pity and gloom that was so often the way when I was a student.But it is still a totally necessary part of my life, my mental health. There is something so incredibly cathartic about letting my frustrations, my joy, my boredom spill out of my head and onto the page.

I remember my very first post - New Year's Eve 2006, I think.I sat upstairs, alone, the kids driving me nuts, my husband at work, conscious of the world out there celebrating the New Year and me, in the prime of my life sitting in a bedroom feeling dowdy and deserted.I may have written angrily, but it was the start of something brilliant for me.

I may not be the best writer and I am certainly not one of the 'quality', but really your view of quality depends on what you are looking for in a blog.If you are looking for beautifully crafted, considered writing then I am not going to be your kind of girl. If you are looking for honesty, for emotions and thoughts pouring onto a page then maybe I'm your type.

At least you never quite know what you're going to get.It depends on what sort of day I've had. It depends on whether something has jogged my memory - a smell, a sound, an image.I suppose I am a selection box compared to a champagne truffle.Every now and then you get something delicious, but mostly its just good simple fare.

That's me. Honest. Part of me would like to be a 'writer', but part of me knows that that is just now going to work.Planning, having posts half written and stored for a rainy day is just not me.And that, my dear friends, is why blogging is so fantastic. Because you don't have to read just me, do you? You can delve into the beautiful of work of  quality writers, or find out about my allotment, or about someone I loved and lost, or about someone else's horses or their decorating...

Variety is the spice of life.