Give a little love ...

Today I came across a quotation from Maya Angelou. It struck a chord with me and made me think about life as it is at the moment ...


“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”   Maya Angelou


I saw Ruby Wax being interviewed on tv about her new website Black Dog Tribe and her words took me back to the time when I was suffering from Post Natal Depression. The Black Dog Tribe website is designed to be a place where people suffering from depression can meet on-line, talk, find help. Ruby is raising awareness of the issue of depression - trying to lift the veil of shame.


I remember the day I finally sought help for my depression and I will never forget my doctor and the way she made me feel. She was so incredibly understanding and somehow had just the right words. She told me that this was the first day of the rest of my life and that far from being the failure I believed myself to be, I was brave - I had shown the courage to seek help and take the first steps towards recovery.


Her kindness and care have left a lasting impression on me. I try to live my life doing the same for other people. I am not a religious person and I do not believe in a god, but I do believe that the least we can do with our lives is to make other people feel good, feel safe and feel loved.


When I was in the depths of misery, drowning in the darkness of depression and overwhelmed with a sense of failure and shame, my husband enveloped me in love. He gently took over, washing, cleaning, cooking ... and never once made me feel guilty. He made me feel so loved. Whatever else happens in our lives I will always remember that love.


I want to be remembered and regarded as the person who gave love and care too. I try very hard to make people feel comfortable and respected when I am with them. I want to be the person who always had a smile, a friendly word, a caring touch. If I could make a difference to someone's life in the way my doctor or my husband made a difference to me it would make everything worthwhile.


The funny thing is that by giving in that way you actually get so much from other people. 


When I was really down I can remember wondering why I bothered. I could see no point in my life, no future. And now I count myself so fortunate that even when times are difficult for various reasons I can see the point of my life totally. Its in the smile from a friend, the hug from a child. Its in the simple joy created by kindness and care.


Maya Angelou got it right when she said that people will remember the way you make them feel. It doesn't take much, but it does take a little bit of thought, a little bit of selflessness. Its about trying to make someone else feel good and about putting yourself second sometimes. It doesn't mean you have to be a doormat or a walkover, but the feeling you get from making someone else feel good about themselves is worth millions.


Just a thought ...

Book Review of The Silk Box by Shirley Mihoko Hairston

There are times when you just get a feeling about a book when you read the bumph on the back cover. When I read the blurb about Shirley Mihoko Hairston’s novel The Silk Box I knew that I had to read it and I hoped that it would live up to my expectations. I am extremely happy to be able to say that it did.

It is the true story of the writer’s parents – Mi-Chan, her mother, was a survivor of the Hiroshima atomic bomb and Sonny, her father, a young black American stationed in Japan during the Korean War. Both have to cope with the prejudices of their society and yet, when they meet, the two societies fade away in the strength of their love – love at first sight.

The story of their lives unfolds like the petals of a flower, beautifully drawn by Shirley Mihoko Hairston. Most of the novel follows Mi-Chan and Sonny separately, showing the reader their lives and struggles, through flash backs, and by the end I was praying for them to be able to get together. Both face their trials and tribulations with integrity and honour. The thread of their story is intertwined with many other lives, occasionally touching each other’s lives and bound with the absolute certainty in both their hearts that they were meant to be together.

This is the story of their journey to be with each other.

The vivid images of Japan, America, the suffering of so many people and the joy earned through experience and love will remain with me for a very long time. Hairston writes like an artist, splashing gorgeous colours of emotion throughout The Silk Box, creating a story that flows effortlessly, a story I could only put down when other duties or sleep called. Her love of her parents and the incredible love they had for each other envelopes everything. To know that this is a true story is even more moving.

It is remarkable to read such an honest and well written book. It is one thing to have such a story to tell, it’s yet another to be able to write it in a way that guides the reader invisibly and enfolds them in the story you are writing. Shirley Mihoko Hairston does just this. As I reached the last pages of The Silk Box my heart ached. I just did not want it to end. I wanted to know everything about Mi-Chan and Sonny’s lives after the book had closed and I hope that the author will write a follow up book so I can immerse myself again in the lives of two amazing people and their family.

I can honestly say that this is one of the best books I have ever read. It both touched and inspired me and I would recommend it to anyone.

Article first published as Book Review of The Silk Box by Shirley Mihoko Hairston on Blogcritics.

Stupid Jobsworth Rudeness ...

I am attending a course at the moment and am off work for a little while so that I can go to said course. Yesterday I, and the other people on this course, were sent home because of various problems, but we were told to phone back later to check an answer machine message which would tell us whether or not to come in today.

Well ... the answer machine wasn't working so being the good girl I am I went in anyway today only to be told the course was not on again and I should phone back later for more information. This I did ... not to the answer machine number, but to the office. The woman I spoke to there was soooooo rude. I can't even call her a lady. She spoke to me as though I was an idiot.

Now, its not my fault that the place she works is a shambles. Its not my fault that I phoned her for information. I drove 26 miles and paid a full day's parking for nothing this morning - all because I thought it was the right thing to do. I was told to phone her at a specific time and I did.

Its a good thing that I am a person who can bite my tongue and stop myself from being rude right back to her because if I wasn't I would have told her exactly what I thought of her, her stupid course and the chaotic system run by incompetent idiots.

There. Fortunately for her and probably me I simply thanked her for her time and promised to phone back later to the answer phone message. I shall be filling in the feedback sheet enthusiastically ...