New Resolutions for a New Year.

I love the New Year. It's a time for fresh starts and new resolutions. Since turning 50 last March I have slowly begun to realise my own mortality. I don't want to sound morbid, but the chances are that I'm over half way in this life of mine. More than one friend of mine has faced serious illness this year and that has made me value my health and family more than ever. Age has never bothered me - it's just a number - but the number I now own doesn't seem to match with who I am... How odd to be a 50 year old! Inside I am far younger. Anyway ... this year I am making resolutions, but not resolutions which will deny myself things. This year I resolve to enjoy every moment of my life. I want to be positive and strong.

I have never been one to live in the past. Nostalgia is really not for me and this year more than ever I plan to live in the Now and yet look to the future. I plan on learning new things, new skills. I am continuing to walk when I can and my husband and I have set a day to swim although this is clashing with my ballet classes... aaagh!. Last year I started yoga and I love it. I plan to keep on practising and attending classes, getting better and more flexible. Part of yoga that I love is the relaxing, meditative aspect and I have been using this to help my sleep. I hope to start running again too. If I can regain my love of it I will be thrilled!

If I am looking after my body with exercise then I need to think about what I am putting into it in the way of food and drink too. I have only one body and so far I have been extremely fortunate to be fit and healthy, but, to be honest, I have been a bit of a pig recently! I love good food and wine and have rather over indulged in both over the last few months!! I am going to try to drink more water and less wine! I want to eat more healthily too... smaller portions, more fruit and veg, more fish, less red meat. I think the key is forward planning and I have been enjoying some delicious recipes recently - full of fresh ingredients, fresh herbs.

In April I am booked onto a Hypnotherapy course and I cannot wait for it to start. I love the thought of learning something new and, eventually perhaps, changing direction career wise. Taking on a year's course is a big challenge and the fact that this is more science based than my usual love - the Arts - is not a little frightening! It is, perhaps, the fear factor that excites me just as much as the thought of a new skill, new knowledge.

self portrait courtesy of christianhook.com

I also plan on visiting more exhibitions this year. Last year I went to a few, but this year I want to see more, in particular Ai Weiwei at the Royal Academy and Christian Hook at Clarendon Fine Art. The older I get the more I realise how little I know!

I want to keep my mind open and push myself to make the most of every day. I am going to keep reading as much as possible and I plan on editing the book I wrote in November during NaNoWriMo. I feel like Ernie Wise talking about "The book what he wrote"!! I enjoyed the discipline of writing and, you never know, I might write something else... although I don't think JK Rowling or Stephen King have anything to fear!! Writing a novel in the month of NaNoWriMo certainly makes one appreciate the skill of real writers!!

I also want to cherish every moment I have with my family. As time goes on I am reminded every day just how lucky I am. My husband is my best friend, my rock and I love his company. I want to spend as much time together as we can. My boys are getting older and the time when they will leave home is drawing ever closer. I want to enjoy time with them too. I am determined to be more fun when we go skiing this year. When they ski over jumps I am going to follow them. Oh God! That really is scary!



So... those are my resolutions. I hope that I can look back in a year's time and see that I have lived a healthy, positive life, full of enthusiasm!! I will try not to be too annoying!!

Same sex marriage ... hurrah!!!

Tonight, at midnight, same sex marriage will be legal in England and Wales. All over the country couples will be tying the marital knot, joined by their loved ones in a celebration of love and equality. On the news this morning I saw a couple who were to be married just after midnight at Brighton pavilion. They looked excited and yet quite serious in their realisation that their marriage would be not only a union of two people who loved each other, but also a step forward into a more enlightened society.

When I married my husband, 22 years ago, we married because we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our days together. I remember looking around the wedding reception at the smiling faces of our friends and family and I remember being filled with joy that every person in that room loved us... every person in that room was happy that we had found each other.

There will be no difference tonight when same sex couples marry. Whether they be two men or two women they will look out at a sea of smiling faces and they will know that they are loved.

The only thing that is shocking about same sex marriage is that it has taken so long to be made legal.

For me the fundamental point of marriage is that two people who love each other make a commitment to each other and are bound together in law. It doesn't matter who they are, what their jobs are, what colour their skin is, what religion they follow. What matters is that they are two human beings who are in a loving and committed relationship. 

I simply don't understand why anyone should consider it ok to deny that basic human right to their fellow Man, or Woman. 

photo courtesy of www.gayweddingfodder.com

photo courtesy of www.thewildreed.blogspot.com

As a spokesman from Stonewall said: "Same-sex couples are living in committed, loving relationships and people have realised that the sky has not fallen in," 

And the sky will not fall in. The best thing that can happen is for same sex marriage to be accepted as absolutely normal .... just one of the things you do as a couple. Some people get married, others don't. Some people have children, others don't. Your sexuality should not matter a jot. Your journey through life should surely be about the person you are, the acts of kindness, the difference you make in a positive way.

Maybe my view is a simplistic one, but I don't really care. Does life have to be complicated? Fundamentally the human spirit seeks to love and be loved. If two people want to show the world their love by marrying each other then they should have that right.

I am so happy that marriage is now open to everyone. It is a wonderful thing and I congratulate you if you are planning your wedding, whoever you are.

Positivity ... not.

Right, now call me a hypocrite if you will and, to be honest, I probably am ... but having extolled the virtues of positivity like some sanctimonious ... well, positive person ... I now see that most of my 2012 posts have been moans. I plan to continue in this vein with the following post, so please accept my apologies.

Its like this ...

•  I've got the decorators coming in tomorrow and my house is a tip
• I'm on a course until the end of the week so I have no time to do anything
• I'm trying to organise a group skiing holiday which keeps going pear shaped
• I have 1500 more words of a 2000 word essay to be done by Wednesday night
• I have a thumping headache

Now obviously the first thing I would advise if I was reading this would be to ... 

GET OFF THE BLOODY COMPUTER AND DO SOME WORK!!!!!

However, I have been working, non-stop, since 7am and I am due a break.

Its one of those times when I just feel snowed under and this blog is a good way of putting all my worries down on paper so I can sort them out and do something about them. I have always done this - its one of the reasons I started my blog. Unfortunately for you it means that my readers have to put up with a bit of a frenzied moan and groan. As I say ... my apologies.

I am telling myself that this time next week it will all be sorted. The house will be sparkly and freshly painted, I will have a holiday to look forward to, my essay will be done ( by hook or by crook) and this headache will be a distant memory.

Its weird isn't it how things can just pile up and drive you nuts? Each thing by itself is ok, but together they weigh me down. Its kind of pathetic really - after all I'm hardly facing a torrid time. In fact now that I've written my worries down I am wondering whether I should just delete them as I sound like a complete idiot.

Well, I'm not going to delete them. I am a normal mum/woman with normal worries. I am not the only one sitting at my laptop tonight feeling a bit stressed and, let's face it, its better to blog than to drown my sorrows with a bottle of Merlot. Well ... maybe I might do a mini drown with a glass of the stuff rather than a bottle, but hey. Life sends you worries and part of life is getting through them in the best way you can.

If you have made it through to the end of my moan, well done and thank you!