Warning!! Before you buy an XBox ...

Do you have teenage boys? I do. I have 2 teenage boys who are, frankly, lovely. Most of the time. They have learnt how to make cups of tea and bacon sandwiches. My work as a mother is done. The one thing that drives me bananas is their addiction to consoles. I say the one thing... I mean the main thing. There are other idiosyncrasies that push my buttons, but on the whole I can cope with them. The whole question of XBox and PS4 however is enough to turn me from mild mannered, yoga loving mother to sledge hammer wielding maniac.

photo courtesy of livescience.com

Gone are the days of young men sitting quietly in their rooms reading novels... Actually I'm not sure that ever happened. Gone are the days of boys heading off into the woods to make camps with their friends. These days they sit in their rooms wearing head phones, living vicariously through screens.

My sons alternate between being Ultimate Team footballers, worshiped by millions and paid fortunes, and being Ultimate Killing machines, armed to the teeth with automatic weapons, stalking around virtual battle grounds. They join their friends online, all slumped in their darkened bedrooms for hours on end, communicating through microphones like futuristic Ultimate Call Centre Workers.

I don't understand what they enjoy about this. It is the main source of arguments in our house because they want to play all the time. I only let them play at weekends, for a limited time. I hate the way it changes them. They become surly, angry unreasonable and they don't understand why I am so mean. If I could go back in time I would never have bought the damn things.

They say that its their social life - bantering with their friends through head sets and playing games together. They tell me that they revise together on group chat... *tumble weed rolls by...yeah* It worries me that they will turn into fat, smelly, unshaved men in their 30's who are surgically attached to a gaming chair, kept alive through a system of intravenous Dominos.

The only thing that keeps the light of hope alive in me is the fact that they do sometimes venture out into the light. They have not crossed completely to the dark side yet... They still arrange to play real life football with their mates and sometimes they go on a bike ride. Perhaps this is the way of the future? Perhaps I have to accept that the teenage boy of today needs to sit, bathed in the blue light of his console for what seems like endless hours? I suppose this is better than being on the street corner drinking cider. Yes, of course it is.

But if I was the mum of young boys now, facing for the first time the question of whether I should buy some variant of console game.... I would delay, delay, delay!!! I would encourage outdoor pursuits and building of relationships. I would encourage the reading of books!! Hindsight is a tricky thing. At the time we bought them their first Game Boy we thought it was a bit of fun, that we were being lovely parents. But now I look back and I wish we had waited. I hate these things now. I hate that they spend their money on points to buy new players. I hate that we argue over the time spent on them. I spend my time negotiating usage based on completion of homework and household chores.

I have become a Master at Hide the Controller. My house is full of secret places where the little black plastic controls nestle during the week. We have pitched skills, child against mother in the quest to be the Ultimate Controller of the Game. At the moment I think I am winning... but this could just be a figment of my imagination.

As a mother, speaking to you as a parent ... Beware!! Beware the Peril of the XBox and the PS4. Treat them with caution and hold your children close to you. Be the one who is in control. Have rules. These games are insidious. Before you know it your clean, golden child will become a hairy teenager with oversize thumb muscles and an encyclopedic knowledge of automatic weapons and players from La Liga. You have been warned...

GCSE Revision and the long distance mother.

Oh the joys of GCSE revision and exams!! I love it!! The happy face of my son as he settles down to a couple of hours revision, with his cup of tea at his side and a wall full of post it notes and inspiration ... NOT.

You may have gathered from previous posts that I do not find parenthood the easiest of occupations. However ... GCSE revision mixed with a liberal sprinkling of hormones and general teenage bolshiness has taken the enjoyment factor to a whole new level.

My son was predicted mostly A's for his exams and he is more than capable of achieving these. I am most hopeful that come August we will indeed be handed a brown envelope full of hope and happiness. The road to achieving this, however, is paved with days full of differing levels of misery.

We have, as parents, tried various strategies to encourage revision. 

• We have trusted that our delightful offspring will work appropriately of his own volition.
• We have shouted and nagged.
• We have bribed him with promises of money/games if work is done.
• We have threatened with promises of privileges/games removed if work isn't done.
• We have demanded that he sit at the kitchen table each evening for an hour & a half.
• We have wheedled.
• We have reasoned.
• We have provided every revision aid known to Man.

All this to no avail.

My son tells me that he knows what he needs to do and that we should trust him.So we are.

This is hard to do.

He does not appear to be doing a great deal/any revision at home, although I know they are working on revision at school.

My whole being wants to help him, advise him... I have tried to show him how to study. I want him to do well. Obviously.

But there is only so much you can do. He is a clever boy and it is up to him to realise that you do well by working hard. I cannot revise for him so I have to accept that what will be will be. If he does well we will celebrate. If he does not do well we will deal with it ... or help him deal with it.

I have come to the conclusion that there is no point whatsoever in ruining our relationship by screaming and shouting at him. Of course I would love it if he was organised and dedicated to getting the best grades possible, but at least he is facing his exams with an attitude that is relaxed and confident. I would rather this than have him worried and crippled by nerves and fear.

At some stage he will do what needs to be done. I am not going to spend the next couple of months screaming and shouting and begging. What will be, will be. He is approaching adulthood and much as I try to lead my boy to the books I cannot make him study. He has to do that himself and he will either do well, or he won't. If he does well then fab. If he doesn't ... he will hopefully learn a lesson.

I believe in my boy. I know, that come August, he will deliver.

*crosses fingers*

Teenage behaviour ... help!!!

I am sitting here this morning writing instead of watching my 15 year old play football. Its the first time ever that I have not been there for him in 10 years of playing the sport.

I have two boys ... a 14 year old and a 15 year old, and they are good, normal boys. Both are nice lads who enjoy being at home. They don't go out partying yet, but I tend to think that they will do that when they are ready. They are intelligent and polite to strangers ... (strangers being the operative word here).

However ... I am finding it more and more difficult to be a good parent. I am lost as to how to cope with certain situations. I have always tried to be calm, but firm and although I sometimes lose my temper it is rare that I shout these days.

The real bane of my life is the boys' obsession with computers, the x box, their phones. I try to limit the time spent on these, but they always manage to slowly increase time spent. It seems to affect their behaviour in a negative way, but they don't seem to be able to see this.

My eldest son is in his GCSE year, but is not doing any work at home for them. He tells me not to worry as "I'm an A Grade student, Mum", but all he seems to do is sit and watch Minecraft videos on YouTube, or play the xbox. I look at him and remember the little golden boy he used to be and it breaks my heart. He has such potential and appears to be throwing it all away.

Last night at 10.30 I was watching tv and he came down and said he was going to watch Match of the Day now. No question... just a statement. I told him that I was watching tv and that he could watch Match of the Day in the morning as it was being taped. He just refused to accept this and turned it to Match of the Day. He then ranted on at me, saying that I obviously despised him and did nothing for him, that I clearly loved his brother more than him.

Having spent the day ferrying him around, letting him do what he wanted as far as electronics go and generally being pretty nice as far as I was concerned, this was news to me. I stayed calm and replied to his claims logically. But what can you do when a young man who is bigger and stronger than you wants to do something and refuses to back down?

In the past I have always been the boss, the Mum. Whether I have shouted or reasoned I have always been the one in charge and have got both boys to do as I want. Last night was the first time where I found myself at a loss. I could have gone mental and probably got my own way, but I didn't want to go that route. His attitude was so cold, so arrogant. He does nothing around the house, his room is a pit, he refuses to revise ...

I lay in bed crying, and told him in a letter that he needn't expect a lift to football in the morning. He could make his own way. As it was, my phone didn't charge and so the alarm didn't go off and I woke up at 9.30 am. He was supposed to be at the ground at 9.30 for a 10am kick off and typically (because he relies on me so much) he was still in bed.I got up and drove him up there with 10 minutes to spare before kick off. Usually he would have apologised after a falling out, but this morning he was just as horrible as he was last night.

I told him in my letter that he needed to think about his behaviour and apologise to me. He also needed to change the way he behaved as it was unacceptable. I have removed all electronic equipment.

Is this the right way to go? Over the summer holidays we got rid of most of the stuff and he changed into a really rather pleasant boy. I really think that playing horrible games must affect behaviour and I am determined not to let him have them back for a long time.

The thing is that I am afraid of losing him, and uncertain as to how to cope with his behaviour. I need to have him stick to the rules of our house and I want him to be respectful, kind, helpful. I am trying to be consistent, calm and reasonable.

Parenting is so hard. Every day you are faced with yet another decision to make, another challenging behaviour with which to cope. There is no rule book.

I would be interested and grateful for any opinions on this. What should I do? Am I doing the right thing? He will be back in a minute and I wonder how he will behave ...

Teenage boys, grumpiness and the internet.

I am writing this quite quickly in a window of internet availability. The reason for this lack of internet is a ban ...  I have banned the internet in our house as punishment for my two little angels who last night ended up fighting and being generally obnoxious.

My boys are 14 and 15 and, most of the time, they are pretty lovely, typical (if there is such a thing) teenagers. They wander about grunting a great deal of the time and other than football their favourite sport involves the X Box or Facebook.

This is fine to a certain extent, but I like to limit their time on the X Box in particular and they are only allowed on at the weekends, if they've been good. Last night I went up to have an early night and told them both they were to go to bed too. I also said that the internet was going off. As I went downstairs to switch it off they had a kerfuffle ... a mirror was knocked off a wall and a brief 10 second spurt of anger they clashed. That, for me, was 10 seconds too much.

I lost my temper, telling them that such aggressive behaviour was unacceptable and wrong. I also told them that I wanted letters of apology for their behaviour and until I received them the internet would be ... off.

Last night they both saw me as a terrible old witch, one of them refusing to talk to me, the other ( bizarrely) sleeping on the floor in protest over my mean actions. Its funny though how the light of day changes everything and this morning I was met with hugs from my eldest. The youngest was still sulking, but hey...

I find situations like last night so difficult. I know I am lucky to have boys who are good and kind, stay in, don't drink, don't do drugs ... but when they are angry and grumpy they drive me nuts. I never know quite how to react to their behaviour, but I do know that I have standards that I want them to live up to. They need to know that I am boss here and I expect their respect.

I came home from work this lunchtime to discover them both writing letters. They had a half day from school and I couldn't quite believe my eyes. I hadn't reminded them about the letters of apology since last night ... but they had both remembered. They both wrote beautiful, genuine letters apologising to me about the way they acted last night and today we have had lots of hugs and talks.

I am proud of them and although I expect this will not be the last time they drive me nuts at least there is hope that they will grow up to be nice young men!! However ... once this is written the internet is going off again!! I have told them that they can have it on in limited windows so that their time is spent not just glued to a screen. They have written the letters and that's great, but they also need to understand that there is more to life than just the virtual world. They need to know I mean what I say and I may be a mean mama but constant access to YouTube, Facebook and so on is not doing them any good. So there.

XBox hatred and homework.

Having bathed in glory at my algebra bonding exercise with Son #2, this evening I can feel my eye muscles twitching involuntarily having been to Parent Teacher Consultations with Son #1.

Having tried to persuade me that talking to his teachers was a totally unnecessary exercise my son accompanied me, reluctantly, to the appointments as requested. The general consensus was that my son is a fine young man, but lacks focus, lacks organisation and needs to up his input to achieve his potential. Fair enough, I thought. Not too bad an evening's assessments.

One of the points they all raised was my son's dreaminess, almost his tiredness ... Tiredness? Would that have anything to do with him getting up at the crack of dawn to play the XBox? Xbox. I am reluctant to even sully my page with that word. I cannot tell you how much I hate the XBox.

It rules my son's life. He is obsessed with it ... football games, war games, ultimate football teams, levels ...

I remove the controllers so he is unable to play. I ban it for weeks on end, but still he wants to play. I feel utterly useless as a mother because I just don't know what to do. He and his brother saved up to buy the thing and their time on it is restricted, but he is always thinking about it and if he can't play he watches Youtube videos of other people playing.

Having spoken to his teachers tonight I have to do something. I know that other boys spend far longer on the stupid thing, but I just don't understand this obsession. And if it is going to affect his academic success then I have to act.

I don't want to ban it completely because I understand the enjoyment it gives him, but I do feel he has to earn his time on it. Why he cannot realise that by doing some school work as soon as he gets in he will be totally in my good books I just don't know. He talks a good game and it upsets me that every time I mention revision he gets angry, accusing me of nagging. He just sounds deluded, twisting my words and making me feel so angry. I just don't know how to make him realise how important his GCSEs are. He says he knows, says he knows exactly what he needs to do, says he will work .... but when he is ready to.

I just want to scream. It is exhausting. All I want is for him to achieve his potential and not throw away his future because he wants to spend his time watching rubbish Youtube videos and playing virtual football. I hate his aggression towards me, his disdain. I hate it. In this day and age all students are expected to do their homework on laptops so I cannot ban him from the internet. I don't think I should be expected to hover over my 15 year old as he does his homework, but I'm afraid it would appear that's the only way his work will get done.

Part of me just wants to say "Fine. You know what you're doing ... get on with it." and then leave him to sink or swim. But I am afraid that by the time he realises that he needs to start trying to swim it will be too late and he will drown in a deluge of work. And also, I am his mum ... I love him with all my heart and I so desperately want him to be happy, do well, achieve his potential, learn how to work and be organised. Its time like this when you just feel overwhelmed as a mum. I feel useless and frustrated. If I get to the stage where I post on here a set of wonderful results for my son's GCSEs .. well, I will just turn a somersault! I know he can do it ... I just want him to actually do it.

Tonight, Algebra, we beat you!!! I am a Good Mummy!!!

I think that I can safely say that this evening I have been a good Mummy. You may think that I am blowing my own trumpet here, and you would be right, but it is a rare occasion when I can genuinely say "Tonight I have been a brilliant Mum!"

I will take you back to about 40 minutes ago when I was safely snug on my sofa, tapping away at my laptop, confident that my daily chores were over and all I had was a quiet evening ahead of me before toddling off to bed.

Along came Son #2 at that moment with the worried look that I recognise as the accompaniment to an extreme lack of completed homework. The problem, it seemed, was Algebra. He had no idea how to do his maths prep and wanted me to help. Me ... Algebra .... My first reaction was to send for Son #1 who is far brainier than me when it comes to the demon Maths. Unfortunately, due to what turned out to be either a complete lack of understanding of said homework or, more likely, a pressing engagement with YouTube, he decided it was beyond him too.

photo courtesy of Amplify.com

It is at this point that a mother shows her mettle. A girl either writes a note in her son's planner expressing total ignorance of all things mathematic or she heads upstairs to the Mac in an attempt to at least show willing ... In a fit of positivity I took the latter option and with beating heart trudged towards almost certain humiliation.

Having discovered that the homework was due in tomorrow (obviously) and that the time was now 9.20 pm I gave the requisite speech on doing homework immediately its given so any problems can be ironed out and then looked at the screen before me. My heart sank as I saw what appeared to be hieroglyphics ... How on earth was I going to sort this out?

With a sigh I suggested we both do the online tutorial in an attempt to understand anything at all. Gradually, before our very eyes, the mystery of Algebra unfolded. We followed the lesson and then tentatively attempted the homework sums. It was like walking along a balance beam ... neither of us were quite sure how we were doing it, but we seemed to be understanding what to do. The screen started to glow with green tick symbols ... Each time we hovered over the "Mark your Work" button we held our breath and bit our lips ...

And blow me down with a feather if we didn't get it right!! When I say "we" I mean my son because it was he who decided on the answers, but I was checking them in my head and knew he was doing the right thing.

In the space of 20 minutes we went from being complete Algebra duffers to a couple of excited nerds giving High Fives to each other as yet another green tick appeared. There can't be many people who bond over maths ( not in my Arts dominated world anyway) but tonight we bonded like bilio!

As we said "Good Night!" and he padded off to bed after a huge hug and a giggle I knew that tonight I had been a good mum. Tonight I had entered an unknown land with my boy and we had emerged triumphant together. We may not actually ever be able to do it again, but this time we beat you Algebra ... we beat you!!

My son has headed off on the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award.

I have just dropped my son off at a car park somewhere close to the English countryside. He is doing his Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award this weekend and so will spend today and tomorrow hiking, camping tonight.

His trial weekend, which took place a few weeks ago, was a weekend that started with the two of us reaching melt down point before 8.30 in the morning. It continued in that vein with hideous weather and totally inappropriate food supplies.

Like a fool I had asked him to type in the co-ordinates for the start location and he nonchalantly typed in the wrong ones. As I drove down Barnet High Street with 10 minutes to go before his start time I realised the error and chose that moment to go completely mental. "Coping under pressure does not seem to be one of my stronger points ..." I remember thinking to myself. Having screamed and sworn at him I typed the correct address and drove like a maniac ( yes, I know ... totally irresponsible) to the right car park this time.

Off he headed with his rucksack, into the wilds of Hertfordshire. He had worked out with his team the menu that they would eat for the 48 hours and with true middle class teenager ignorance of hardship of any kind, or indeed the nutritional requirements of walking for 8 hours a day, they had packed a combination of Super noodles, Haribos and that staple of the trekker's breakfast ... croissants.

On the Saturday night, as I lay wrapped in my warm duvet, I listened to the driving rain beating against my window panes and thought of him in his two man tent.

We picked him up from another bleak car park the next day. As the groups arrived, walking hunched against the horizontal rain, their faces were grey from exhaustion and hunger. The general consensus was that this was the worst weekend of their lives ... a rude awakening to the hardships of life on the open road. Teenager after teenager groaned as they removed their rucksack and more than once I heard the words "I am never doing that again!!"

But they are doing it again and, to be honest, I am proud that he has headed off with the backpack my husband used to travel around the world, with not the smallest hesitation or worry. He has learnt a lot from that first, miserable outing and I am optimistic about the next 48 hours! He was up early ( admittedly only to get a last hour of X Box play in), but hey, he was up! He showered, cut his toenails ( to try and avoid the ghastly blisters he suffered last time) ate sausages for breakfast, and packed a totally different bag of food. This time he has a decent packed lunch, trekkers food in foil boil in the bag packets, Kendal mint cake, water in a metal container ... He has put his walking boots on properly instead of sliding his feet into them like slippers and not doing the laces up properly ( I did tell him, but did he listen the first time??)

So ... we shall see how this expedition pans out. I hope it goes well. This is the start of him growing up, becoming a young man of the world rather than my baby. I am proud of him.

Year 10 Revision and trying to help my teenage son.

Having been quite frustrated with my 15 year old son for a while I have taken the bull by the horns.

To give you some background I have to tell you that my son is absolutely wonderful! He is good and kind. He is loving and a real home body who would rather be with us than out and about with his mates in town. He reminds me of myself in so many ways ... we are very similar ... content with our own company, but happy with our friends too.

Recently he has shown signs of teenagerdom and can answer back with the best of them. But he always thinks about his behaviour and although we might have a row he will always apologise  without prompting. All in all we are very lucky to have him!!

However ... his school work has started to be of a concern recently.He has started to show cracks in his otherwise A Grade school career. We have tried to get him to revise for upcoming exams, but he has not done nearly as much as he should have done. He seemed really rather lost and without focus.

I was beginning to really worry. After all, whatever his potential I want him to achieve it, to the the best he can.

Yesterday I had a moment of clarity, of realisation. I realised that he is afraid. He is afraid to fail, awed by the vastness of what lies before him and this fear has made him think 2 things :

a) I just don't know where to start, how to begin, because there is so much to do.

b) If I try hard and fail I will be a real failure, but if I don't try ... and fail, people will say " Oh well, he didn't try. If he had tried he would have been brilliant"

I know because that's how I have thought in the past.

So today I got up early and took his planner so I could see what lessons he had when. Then I worked out a revision timetable, a study timetable with a file for notes on what he does each day and an exercise book that I can guide him as to what to do .... things like

• What did you cover in your lesson today ... summarise briefly.
• Any problems?
• Key words, formulae?
• Go to school website and follow instructions for past paper, game, article etc

Each task had a box to tick and there were not too many tasks. At the end of each subject he could look and see that he had ticked all the boxes and actually achieved a block of work.

I also bought chocolate as an incentive and wrote at the start of his book ...

 Every journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step ...

To my joy and amazement he sat at the kitchen table and studied. He took breaks between subjects, but seemed genuinely pleased and relieved that I had done this for him. It will take up some of my time, but I hope that he will start to understand how to do it for himself and gain a real sense of achievement.

I hope I have done the right thing. I just want to support him and help him to do the best he can. He is such a lovely boy.

Life with Teenage Boys ... give me strength.

I have just eaten a date and cranberry hot cross bun followed by a large mug of tea. I am allowed to do that because today is not a fast day ( see previous 2 posts ...) The reason I have eaten this frankly delicious combo of carbs and caffeine is because I share a house with two teenage boys. If I allowed myself full rein I would have eaten the whole packet of said hot cross buns ...

This holiday has consisted of me nagging them to revise for exams ... me nagging them to wash ... me nagging them to help around the house ... I have tried bribery and various other forms of corruption as well as the old fashioned "Do this or I will kill you!" technique. And, at the end of the day, none of it works. They are, before my very eyes, turning into two morose, lazy, rude, x-box obsessed monsters.

These are not my boys ... photo courtesy of the Guardian.

I know this is harsh. Despite this fact I do still love them and would probably throw myself infront of a speeding bullet to save them, but quite often these days they are rather hard to like. This may not be the accepted school of thought for a mum to take, but this is my blog and I'll write what I want to.

I have tried reasoning, tried cajoling, tried shouting, tried bargaining ... and nothing works. I wanted to do something with them each day ... visiting places, going to the cinema, going out to eat ... and yet they show no interest in this. This afternoon I had planned on taking them to the cinema and to McDonalds for lunch. I gave them a choice of films ... The eldest refused point blank to go. The youngest came along, but was so rude when I said he would be having the McDonalds for lunch rather than after the film for tea, that I took him straight back home.

So that is it. I have told them that I will no longer nag. They assure me that revision is under control and they "know what to do ..." so its over to them. If they are so grown up then they can jolly well get on with it. I will spend the next week of this holiday doing what I want to do ... garden centre, exhibitions, dinner, allotment. And they can continue with their x- box, their lap top, their ipad. They can fry their brains with internet waves and grow their thumb muscles to obscenely huge sizes through their obsessive use of gaming controls.

And when they fail their exams they will face an electronic free world. There will be no mercy. There will be no x-box, no .... nothing with a screen or a twiddly control. I am so sick of their attitude, their arrogance and their addiction to You Tube, Fifa 13, Minecraft and Facebook. I am no longer going to nag them ... the ball is firmly in their court. I hope they prove me wrong and both come out with shining results, but I fear they are in for a nasty shock.

You may think me a terrible mother and you may be right. I have never claimed to be a good mum. I know my boys could be much worse. They could be out on the streets drinking or doing drugs, having under age sex and vandalising the local cricket club pavilion ( God, how middle class does that sound ... ) but what I want is for them to achieve their potential. I hate to see an A grade student getting Bs and Cs, refusing to write anything down or read his set books. I hate feeling so incredibly frustrated and rejected by them. They do not want to spend time with me and consider me stupid and petty. They drive me nuts with their attitude and their complete lack of enthusiasm for anything.

I have spent the last 15 years doing my best for them and all they do is behave as if its their God given right to do what they want, when they want, with no regard for anyone else. I suppose to some of you my post might sound a bit pathetic, and reading it back I would tend to agree with you, but I am going crazy with frustration here. What happened to my little boys??

The day I see them both happy, in good jobs, with loving partners and their own obnoxious teenagers ... I will shriek with joy ...

Older Children & getting your life back.

I have just got home from a morning's campaigning at a local shopping parade. Part of having older children now means that I have got my life back. I don't mean that in a horrible way, but really ... how lovely is it to be able to say "I'm just off up to the allotment for an hour" or "I'm going out to get people to sign the petition"  - and be able to pop out leaving the 2 boys happily in the house by themselves?

I remember when I couldn't leave the house without a small trailer attached to my back pack carrying nappies, spare clothes, food, drink, wet wipes ... My life revolved around their meal times and bed times. Now I am free again to indulge in life as I used to know it.

This morning I was part of a team campaigning against a massive new development by a major supermarket chain who I refuse to even name on here. We set up our stall outside a local shopping parade and asked people to sign our petition. I absolutely love doing it. I enjoy meeting new people and, strangely, saying "Good Morning!" to a complete stranger and then getting them to join the campaign is a real pleasure.

I would never have thought a few years ago that I would have the nerve to do that, but now I do. Obviously not everybody says yes to us, but that's fine isn't it? Each to their own. I do find though that when people are given the facts of the matter they tend to be a) shocked and b) willing to fight.

I feel so fortunate to be in this situation now. Not only do I have 2 lovely boys with whom I love spending time, but I also have the chance to do my own thing. When I was struggling in the dark days of PND I never thought that I would get out the other side and bathe in the light of this sort of happiness again. It just shows you that there is life after such things.

Right now my life is so full of 'stuff' ... be it the allotment, study, work, campaigning, family life ... Yes, there are days when I wonder quite why I do so much, but most of the time I count myself so very lucky to have the chance to do it.

Life with teenagers - at least they know how to make a cup of tea ...

As I sat in my kitchen attempting to write an essay on Children's Literature this morning I was interrupted regularly by the rumbumptious banging of my two sons playing the x box in the next room. That may not be a real word but it describes their behaviour well. Now at the ages of 12 and 13 they are tall, muscular and scarily strong. They also have developed an aversion to the shower ...

How did all this happen? It doesn't seem 5 minutes ago that I was writing my first blog post and they were two darling boys - all golden and soft with early bedtimes and a penchant  Noddy. People told me to make the most of the time when they were young, but, to be honest, I dismissed this advice as the first signs of senility.

Perhaps its because I was still in the cold grips of Post Natal Depression that I wanted their childhood to be over quickly? I was frustrated by them and their needs. I felt alone and inadequate. But now, with hindsight, I look back at those days with a fond nostalgia! Not that I'd want them back ... I am quite happy that my boys are capable of making me a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich. In my eyes I have achieved Nirvana in the parenting stakes!

But still ... it does amaze me to think that I actually gave birth to these two hulking 'near-adults'. Their hormones are buzzing and when they do actually venture into the bathroom, after lots of screaming and gesticulating from me, the place ends up smelling like a tarts boudoir. Less talcum powder and bubble bath - more Lynx body spray and hair gel.

So far, despite the fact that they tower over me, I am still in control. Well... when I say control I mean actually that we work well together. They know what side their bread is buttered on and they know the rules of the house. Al though they might attempt a minor rebellion sometimes, at the moment they are good boys, intelligent boys and boys of whom I am immensely proud.

Neither of them are making bad choices right now, although it scares me to write those smug words, after all its early days and they are still quite young. But I know that they have made choices of which I approve. The eldest, when faced with an invitation to go to the park after school and drink cider (OH MY GOD) said no and told me about it. He considered such behaviour stupid and chavvy. I can't tell you how relieved I was that he thought that way and wasn't swayed by peer pressure.

All you can do as a parent is try to equip your children with the tools to cope with the life they face. Of course they will face invitations to drink, possibly to try drugs, but I hope they will come through all that. Right now, when I think of what they could be doing I am soooooooo happy they are being rumbumptious on the x box in my lounge ...

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