You may have noticed, if you are particularly observant, that the old running logbook has not moved on very much recently. I started running again on 1st January with a secret long-term plan. That is, to run in the London Marathon in April 2008.
If you know me in the real world then you know that this is quite an ambitious plan. More than quite, actually. I would say that it was bloody ambitious. However, what are we without ambition? So off I set and have been running 3 times a week since then, apart from the last 2 weeks. Ug.
It has all gone a bit wrong. Just as I sent off my application to run a 10k race in May, I have stopped. And why ? Well, I have told myself that I just don't feel well enough to go out running. Obviously I've been well enough to do everything else in my life, but just as I am about to get changed I come over all ........................ well, weak.
I think, if I am honest, that I am scared. I'm scared that at the age of 43 I won't be able to do it. And if I do wobble round it won't be a la Paula Radcliffe. It will be slow and rather wobbly in places. Yes, yes, I know that I shouldn't think like this. I know that I should be confident. Believe in myself. But I do tend to worry. I don't want to be the poor old mare staggering around at the back of the field. I want to be lithe and toned, in the middle of the field, running 8 minute miles with a smile on my lightly tanned face.
But I can't see how that will happen. Well, it won't happen will it ? So perhaps I need to just drag my wobbly backside out of my armchair and get out there. I have to forget about being young and fit and think more about being middle-aged and fit. I'm never going to have long muscly legs that float over the ground like a gazelle.
Me, I'm more the Shetland pony type. Sturdy and reliable. Steady. With quite hairy legs. Actually, that is in fact a lie. My legs may not be long, but, by God are they smooth. Yes, that's it. I will be the runner with the smoothest legs, the softest skin ( thank you Clinique ) the shiniest hair. I may be slow and I may be wobbly, but I will smell of roses and have beautifully painted nails.
Yes, I knew I wasn't shallow.........................