Secret Housewife in Outdoor Girl Midlife Crisis...

Having satisfied the cerebral side of my nature I decided to attempt the more physical activities that the rest of my family enjoy.Another way of phrasing this could be that I set off on the trail of a Mid-Life Crisis...

My ever young and athletic husband had taken part in a company team building exercise at a Go Ape recently and he decided that our family could do with a bit of team building too. He booked us in.... my sister, my nephew, my 11 year old, me and, of course, Mr Adventure himself..my Man.We arrived on a sunny day at the woodland setting and embarked upon a half hour training session.

I have always rather hankered after the "outdoors, skiing, climbing, hiking" look. You know the type? Lean, tanned... afraid of nothing... sporting a belt full of shiny carabiners and a smile.... This was my chance to fulfill that dream. I could show my family that I was afraid of nothing... swinging from tree to tree in a harness and some very nice lip gloss.

It all started well.My outfit fitted nicely and my muffin belly was tucked beautifully inside the harness.The first mistake I made was the 'Pact of Death'. This involved swearing that none of us would resort to the Chicken Run Trail. We would all, come what may, go for the Black Runs.... the hardest path, the scariest route.I blame this, again. on my Man, closely followed in the blame stakes by my son and nephew. What is it about men?? Why can't they be happy with a cup of tea and a biscuit infront of the telly? No... they have to drag us all through hoops and hell in the quest for macho world domination.

Much of the afternoon is a blur of rope ladders, 40 ft high platforms and woodchip down my knickers.Every sinew in my body cried out to me that standing on a platform only 24 inches across was abnormal... wrong. Throwing myself from said platforms... out into the wide open expanse of woodland, into cargo nets huge distances away.... was wrong.As the afternoon went on... and on... and on.... I hoped for the thrill of adrenalin to kick in. I hoped that I would start to bathe in the joy of the outdoors...

Sadly, however, that thrill never came.I am proud to say that I did not chicken out. I climbed every ladder, crossed every tightrope, zipped every wire. I threw myself, with abandon ,off towers and platforms and never once did I hesitate.To the casual onlooker I was that 'Outdoor Girl'.... whooping and laughing in the face of fear and danger.But inside? Inside I wanted the damn thing to end.... I wanted to be on my sofa watching Strictly, with a bloody big glass of Merlot and a chocolate Digestive...

The following day I awoke as if from a nightmare.I had fallen into bed at 8pm and slept for 13 hours. My body felt broken and battered... as if I had been beaten with a large stick and muscles screamed from places that I didn't know had muscles.I am not the Commando Girl I had hoped to be..... but only you and I know that.... ssshhhhhh......

Twenty years on from Tiananmen Square. Do not forget.

Twenty years ago, on the 4th June 1989, pictures were burned into my mind. Pictures that I swore I would never forget, and a name that I have kept in my head all that time. The pictures were of the students and workers gathering in Tiananmen Square to ask for freedom, the name was Wang Weilin, the Tank Man.



There are events in one's life that touch one to the core and leave an imprint. This event touched me. The students and workers had gathered over some time, a few to begin with, increasing as the word spread. And the Chinese Government reacted by crushing them mercilessly and then wiping the event from their history with a brush soaked in the blood of innocents.


The man who seemed to sum up and symbolise the struggle was Wang Weilin. I sat in my comfortable life and watched as he stood before a line of tanks, one man, dressed in a white shirt and dark trousers, carrying a carrier bag as if he had just popped out to the shops and on the way had decided to take on the might of the Chinese Army. I have never seen a braver person and as I watched the tears streamed down my face. I swore then that I would never forget him, his name , or his actions.


This week is the twentieth anniversary of the Massacre At Tiananmen Square. In China it is as though it never happened. It does not exist in their history. But it does exist in the minds, hearts and memories of the brave survivors. Even now, 20 years on the Chinese Government is determined not to let the memory surface. When one man 1000 miles away from Beijing put a one line ad in his local newspaper in memory of 4th June 1989 he was arrested, imprisoned without trial and is now watched by the secret police as a subversive. The editors of the paper lost their jobs.


Kate Adie, BBC journalist, was there in 1989 and it was her pictures that I followed all those years ago.This week she broadcast a programme in memory of the events. It is moving, fascinating and well worth watching. I am posting a link to it here and if you have the time ( it is an hour long programme) please watch it. You will be glad that you did.

Twenty years ago the streets around Tianenmen Square ran with the blood of innocents. We cannot forget.

Witness to a mugging.

I have had a super week - lots of sunshine and fun. Last night though I witnessed something that I can't get out of my head. We were driving back home from London after a great day out.We were stopped at some traffic lights, with my Man driving, when I gazed over to the side of the road.


I saw a woman standing by the roadside and a man behind her. While I watched he raised his arm above his head and walloped the woman over the back of the head. She fell to the floor, obviously unconscious. The traffic moved on ( we were 3 lanes away ) and I couldn't believe my eyes. He bent to pick something up from the side of her as we left.


I keep seeing it played over and over in my head, especially his eyes - wide and wild. I didn't know what to do as I couldn't say exactly where it happened. It was dark, but there were other people around - just not close to these 2 people. I called the police from my Mobile phone and gave a description of what I had seen.


We couldn't stop - we had the boys in the car and we were in the fast lane, but I felt terrible not doing anything. I hope I can find out what happened to her, if she was ok. I hope she is...