I am walking a thin line with my son at the moment .He is 12 and he is clever.He is lovely and talented, kind and funny. He is also really rather lazy...
He has managed to achieve straight 'A's throughout his first year at Secondary School and I have praised him for that.The thing that really gets my goat is his attitude towards work. His 'work ethic' is just non-existent.He does the bare minimum with his homework, rushes it, leaves it to the last minute.
I have tried everything I can think of to get him to take some care. I have stood over him while he worked.I have let him just get on with it. I have bribed him. I have shouted at him. I have helped him and bailed him out.I have tried to explain that you only live once and if he starts to drop down it will be hard to climb back up...
I can hear you saying...'Well, the boy gets straight 'A's... what are you worried about?' I understand what you are saying.... but I want the best for him.I don't want him to wake up one day and decide to work hard, but realise its too late...
I know that he is using about 40% of his potential. Yes, he has been chosen for the Gifted and Talented programme, but if he spent some time and care on his work he could achieve more... actually enjoy it more.The times I have sat with him and gone over an essay I see the pleasure in his face as he tells me about the subject and his thoughts. He gets excited about learning.
Part of me wonders if I have sent him to the right school. Would he have achieved more at another school? Should I have sent him to an all boys school? No. I knew those schools were not right for him. I want him to be happy at school. But I also want him to be stimulated and motivated.Hopefully next year when he is streamed in other subjects he will be with other bright pupils and be motivated by like minds...
All I can do is support him and encourage him. He has so much to give... I just don't want him to give it all away.
5 comments:
I understand your concern. Maybe you could let him be a child longer. He will be a man too quickly and he is doing well. Is the battle worth the friction between mother and child?
My niece was doing the same thing and they placed her in GT programs. Suddenly she was not the special one or the smart one, just the average one in a class of above average. It was hard for her confidence, Was it good for her? We will see.
I hope I have not offended with my honest opinion.
I think that gifted kids are usually bored. That combined with their age and they do the minimum. I had kids on both ends of the spectrum, and they each reach their potential when the time is right. By grade 12, the boys start to want to do better. This happens when they emerge from the "dark hole" of teenage-dom that they bury themselves in. I have see it with all of my nephews, friends and my own. It is there, just not challenged and not realised.....YET. I bet he is a happy boy and that is what counts.
I think what's more important is for him to find the thing that he loves to do; then learning is never a problem. Really clever people drift around their whole lives if they never discover what how to make a living out of what they love to do. And some really successful people make a great living from the thing they love - even if they never got many qualifications.
Or you could take him to Morrisons & explain that one day Cashier number 4 could be all his...
I think all 3 of you are correct in what you say.I certainly would never be offended by you, Gail!! I appreciate honest thoughts and agree with you.
Hopefully he will find his way with a bit of nudging from me...I want him to be happy in what he does.
Sarah
x
I understand where you are coming from, as all parents you want the best for your child. Gifted children get bored easily if the subject matter is too easy, it is good that he has been chosen for the GT program. Don't worry mom he will be okay, just keep encouraging him to try new things, whether it is at school or home. Take him to the bookstore and let him choose a subject he knows nothing about and wants to learn about and see where it takes him.
Post a Comment