Tuesday, 6 December 2011

The loneliness of the long distance mother ... or pass the wine I've had enough!!

Having done a full day's work and having been up since 6.30 am I walk into my house to discover my boys have dumped all their belongings in the hallway and melted onto the sofas each with a laptop open and glowing.

I now begin my second job of housekeeper/cook/psychologist/nanny - and I'm not even paid for this one. As I start to clear the kitchen of the debris left from breakfast, sort out the laundry and think about cooking dinner number 2 son calls me to help with his homework...

I wouldn't mind helping with homework if I wasn't met with constant grumpiness and rudeness and I'm afraid after a long day at work I do not have a lot of patience with bad tempered 12 year olds. I calmly direct him in the ways of research and revision and then suggest trumpet practise.

This suggestion is met with what borders on derision and if it had taken place on board a boat would have given me grounds for having him keel hauled. You will, I hope, admire me for keeping my cool and walking away.



I often think its a fortunate thing that we humans, and especially mothers, do not have message screens on our foreheads because mine would be constantly streaming a mixture of profanities and plans of somehow escaping to anywhere but here. Being a mum, in my house, is not all sweetness and joy.

My reaction to a friends saccharine Facebook post that "The most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck are the arms of your children..." was to fake vomit into my fake bucket. Is it just me or are children sometimes a bloody pain in the backside??

As I write this they are oblivious to the effect they have on me most days as I sail regally on helping with homework, cooking teas which they turn their noses up at and clearing up the endless trail of crap that they trail behind them like exhaust fumes on a winter's day.

Thank God for this blog where I can release my bile and avoid being removed to the nearest high security mental institution by men in white coats. 

6 comments:

Razmataz said...

I can vouch that it's no picnic....and the line about the jewels and kids (however it went)...I could dry heave on that one too...

Anonymous said...

Ditto, but you did get a kind offer from a handsome gentleman to bring your bin round the back. xx

B. WHITTINGTON said...

I shared this with my daughter via facebook. It sounds like most of her days with her four children, a six year old and 10 year old triplets, two boys and 1 girl. Quite a mad house. God bless you. Hang in.

Pauline said...

Beautifully expressed. I know I shouldn't laugh but it's mainly with relief that those days are past for me. And, regardless of the Facebook tripe, all mothers have times like that!

Urban Cynic said...

You know my opinion on this one. I was a constant pain in the arse to my parents & I didn't appreciate them until I was in my 30's!

I heard it was a thankless task and it looked like too much hard work. I hear the emotional rewards can be worth it eventually though...

ps - You should de-friend that awful person immediately. what a freak.

sarah at secret housewife said...

Its funny isn't it? This post has had lots of reaction from the people who have read it - and especially the mums!!
Thanks for commenting!!
Sarah
xx