Sunday, 19 August 2012

What to do next?

I am sitting in my garden, bees buzzing lazily in the lavender, water trickling from the feature behind me and a chilled bottle of cider slowly disappearing before me. It is as if I am in a bubble at the moment. Since my degree results arrived I have been unable to pull myself from a languid torpor that has left me in a limbo that I both enjoy and dislike. My days are spent reading - everything from Thomas Hardy to Diane Setterfield - sitting either in my garden or at my kitchen table. I am immersed in worlds distant from my own day to day life as I wait for inspiration, wait for my next challenge to occur to me.

And that is what I want. A challenge. I have run a marathon, I have gained a First Class Degree. Now what? I am considering applying to become a magistrate, but have to speak to my boss before I can go further with this. What else can I do? I no longer want to teach, but what are my skills?

I know that with the crisp, fresh weather of September will come a new vigour, an enthusiasm for life that is currently missing in my days. Until then I wait. I am luxuriating in the pleasure of having nothing to do but paint the fence. Nothing to write, but letters to friends. Nothing to read, but novels that envelope me in their warm arms and drift me away to lands unknown. A hazy feeling of guilt at my idleness occasionally pricks my conscience, but I quickly push it away and tell myself that I deserve a rest.

I wonder what I will do next?


6 comments:

Suzanne said...

Well it sounds to me like all that hard work most definitely deserves a rest! Try and enjoy it if you can, but I can imagine after all those many months of working to deadlines etc, its not easy to just rest.....well done on your amazing result!

Pauline said...

Your body deserve a rest and so does your mind. Let both drift for a while and indulge in a few dreams.
"We make realities out of our dreams and dreams out of our realities. We are the dreamers of the dream." ~~ Roald Dahl

Kat said...

You have a beautiful garden my lovely! I would make the most of it while the weather is good and the time allows. All too soon your time will not be your own so enjoy it while you can and bask in the first degree glory you wonderfully clever lady! xxx

Inkling said...

If I could, I'd hire you to tour with me through your neck of the woods, be mentored by you in gardening, and be inspired to read authors I haven't yet explored. That would keep you busy for at least a year, and it would not involve tying shoes or wiping noses. ;) A girl can dream anyway......

xoxo

Jo said...

Wow, congratulations on your degree and on having done a marathon. Two things I can honestly say I will never achieve. They are fantastic achievements.
You have definitely earned yourself a rest.
Oh I am a massive Thomas Hardy fan by the way, his books and his poetry. I even went to visit his birthplace (I am a geek haha).
Maybe a bit of free time will give you time to come up with something else you'd like to do. I plan to take up painting and photography if I ever get the time.
I've loved setting up and chairing my charity, feels very worth while, but I'd also like to do something a bit selfish just for me to enjoy.
Hope you come up with something soon but for now I hope you enjoy some time out :-) xxx

studentat60 said...

A big congratulations from me - I am so pleased for you. I am sure it is well deserved - I know from the blog how hard you have worked. And its not easy when you also have a life!

In terms of what to do next, I think the most important thing is to have a plan. For some people, just drifting (even if pleasantly) from day to day is not really option. I am one of these and I think you are too.

When I retired, I thought back to things in my life I really enjoyed and I decided to recreate that feeling at the beginning of the school year when all the new books arrive and it is so exciting. So I studied for my BA and now I am studying for an MA. You have to decide what that feeling is for you.

Why not write a book? You are obviously very creative.


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