Sunday, 29 December 2013

Blogger's Block and my half century.

After I came back from BritMums Live this year I promised myself that I would only blog about things that really mattered to me, or that I thought would be interesting to other people. Unfortunately this strategy has resulted in a dearth of posts.Its not that I'm not interested in things ... I am, but sometimes I just can't write about them, mainly because I don't want to offend anyone or betray confidences.

To be honest I am in a bit of a trough. Where do I stand in the world of blogging? And does it really matter? I was very flattered to make the Finals of BritMums Brilliance in Blogging Awards this year, but really... I'm not part of the blogging 'in crowd'... if there is such a thing. I don't have a cause to blog about and, to be honest, even I get bored of my allotment after a while!

I think perhaps my blogging reflects my life right now. I am at a bit of a crossroads ... This year my husband and I turn 50 and that's an age where you tend to look at your life and think about where you're going.... where you've been. My age doesn't bother me, but I do look and wonder what my next goal is... I am trying to lose weight and get fit and come the Spring my allotment will come back into focus, but I have no big goal. That's unusual for me because I have always seemed to have something to aim for, some new challenge.

Over the last 10 years I have run the London Marathon, completed my degree at the Open University, but now?? I can't think what I want to do... I feel that I have, to a certain extent, wasted my abilities, but if faced with the same choices I would not change my decisions. I have always believed that you do your best every moment you are given and you make decisions based on your life as it is right then. Hindsight  is a dangerous luxury.

The year ahead looks rosy. We are planning a big party for our birthdays in the summer and we have holidays planned too. We are incredibly fortunate. Perhaps I should just go with the flow for now? Maybe I should just be open to opportunities that arise and be ready for what presents itself? I have learnt, this year, just how fleeting fortune can be. I have too many friends who were well this time last year and who are now mid way through chemotherapy. They make me realise just how lucky I am to be able to do exercise, write, go on holiday.

I would like to learn something new, but what?? Perhaps I should just concentrate on being a better person. I have realised this year that I do not suffer fools gladly. I am not tolerant of people I consider lazy or selfish and, having been loathe to be rude to people most of my life, I discover that I am more than ready to speak my mind these days if I am annoyed by those around me. This is not necessarily a good thing!

So... I am now going to go and tidy my wardrobe. I will not be writing about it, but if you have any suggestions for me then do feel free to tell me! If anything at all interesting happens ( in my life, not in the wardrobe ... its not bloody Narnia in there) I will let you know. Thanks for reading my blog.


Urban Cynic said...

I say just go with it Sarah. You've rediscovered that catch-22 situation where you're being a bit self conscious of what you write. This is your blog - it should be written for you and you should say what you want to say. This is why mine is anonymous! When I got to the point when I felt aware of what people I knew might think of me, I knew it was time for a change. Just write for you and not what you think people want to hear - personally I know when you're doing that and I find those your least interesting posts to be honest.

Don't think about the kudos or being a 'blogger' because those things only came about because you wrote about things that interested or bothered you.

I know what you mean about wanting to work towards something but it's also OK to sit tight for a while and see what happens.

Some suggestions though would be:

* Learning a new language on Duolingo
* Planning a weekend trip using Air BnB and the Easyjet suggestions page
* Doing an evening class to learn a craft, yoga, car mechanics or upholstery for example
* Making a list of all the exhibitions and galleries/places you'd like to see next year
* Going on a cycling weekend with your fella/sons (or maybe a walking, cookery, photography, drawing or writing weekend or retreat instead)
* Signing up to do some voluntary work
* Buying a cheap sewing machine and learning how to make simple clothes or alter the ones you already have

Good to see you back whatever you write about. Next year is going to be awesome whatever you do or don't do. x

sarah at secret housewife said...

God but I love your comments mrs. You are always so honest and unerringly helpful!You will be glad to know that I immediately found dualingo and have embarked on a French course. I already speak French reasonably well, but I want to brush up my skills. I may well also choose another language! I am also trawling airbnb for possible weekends away.I will let you know how I do with any future 'stuff'!!

Caz said...

I know what you mean about blogging and goals! I've just started blogging again after a year because I didn't think any of it really mattered but I blog to inspire and motivate, just as your blog motivates me, Sarah! As far as goals go, I never seem to be without one and I think in time, you'll think of something but you've achieved so much already, maybe you need a rest! Go girl! xx