Friday, 2 May 2014

GCSE Revision and the long distance mother.

Oh the joys of GCSE revision and exams!! I love it!! The happy face of my son as he settles down to a couple of hours revision, with his cup of tea at his side and a wall full of post it notes and inspiration ... NOT.

You may have gathered from previous posts that I do not find parenthood the easiest of occupations. However ... GCSE revision mixed with a liberal sprinkling of hormones and general teenage bolshiness has taken the enjoyment factor to a whole new level.

My son was predicted mostly A's for his exams and he is more than capable of achieving these. I am most hopeful that come August we will indeed be handed a brown envelope full of hope and happiness. The road to achieving this, however, is paved with days full of differing levels of misery.

We have, as parents, tried various strategies to encourage revision. 

  • We have trusted that our delightful offspring will work appropriately of his own volition.
  • We have shouted and nagged.
  • We have bribed him with promises of money/games if work is done.
  • We have threatened with promises of privileges/games removed if work isn't done.
  • We have demanded that he sit at the kitchen table each evening for an hour & a half.
  • We have wheedled.
  • We have reasoned.
  • We have provided every revision aid known to Man.
All this to no avail.

My son tells me that he knows what he needs to do and that we should trust him.So we are.

This is hard to do.

He does not appear to be doing a great deal/any revision at home, although I know they are working on revision at school.

My whole being wants to help him, advise him... I have tried to show him how to study. I want him to do well. Obviously.

But there is only so much you can do. He is a clever boy and it is up to him to realise that you do well by working hard. I cannot revise for him so I have to accept that what will be will be. If he does well we will celebrate. If he does not do well we will deal with it ... or help him deal with it.

I have come to the conclusion that there is no point whatsoever in ruining our relationship by screaming and shouting at him. Of course I would love it if he was organised and dedicated to getting the best grades possible, but at least he is facing his exams with an attitude that is relaxed and confident. I would rather this than have him worried and crippled by nerves and fear.

At some stage he will do what needs to be done. I am not going to spend the next couple of months screaming and shouting and begging. What will be, will be. He is approaching adulthood and much as I try to lead my boy to the books I cannot make him study. He has to do that himself and he will either do well, or he won't. If he does well then fab. If he doesn't ... he will hopefully learn a lesson.

I believe in my boy. I know, that come August, he will deliver.
*crosses fingers*


Alex Seaford said...

Oh the trials of parenthood !. Mine too is raging with a tempest of hormones, making me wince at his neadathal manner up on waking. He too is smart as a whip, and seems to coast through homework before jumping back on his iPad. He is only 12, and post parent evening, I realise he still has a shiny new enthusiasm for school and works so hard there, I too am stepping back a little knowing he will do what he needs to.x

joy said...

Trust him, stand by him, accept all his decisions, he'll get there in the end - whether sooner or later, I promise. Joy xx

Caroline said...

Currently in the same situation! Eldest son did four exams early so has already got an A*, an A and two B's. He's resitting one of the B's because he wasn't happy. He missed an A by one mark.

I know I should trust him, and I do, but I still try to organse his revision, he does it in huge stints with no breaks. I just keep him fed and watered and hope that helps.