Saturday, 24 February 2007

Its a rollercoaster ride.................

This life of ours is not a straight line that flows harmoniously along. It is a rollercoaster ride that gives us thrills and spills and sometimes leaves us feeling sick as a dog! Well, for "us" substitute "me". At the moment I am up and down like a crazy hormonal woman. I don't know about you,but I am beginning to suspect that I may actually be one. A crazy hormonal woman that is.



I wrote my post last night in floods of tears and then woke up this morning thinking "Aaaaaaaaaagh! What have I done ? " Let people in to my little secret world a bit more than I had planned, that's what. And then as the day went on I began to think " Sod it. I don't care if people see me when I'm down. That is part of my life and part of everyone's life. "



I logged in to my blog fully intending to delete the said post anyway and was rather taken aback by the comments that had been put on there during the night. You made me feel that I was ok. Not too horrible a person. And you made me feel good. You could be bothered to write. Thank you.



So its still there and I'm still here. And if you are back and reading this then I am happy that you are still here.



Especially you, GB1. GB1 is my lovely friend in the real world - the first person I told about this blog. She is Gorgeous Bird and she is gorgeous.







Now, changing the subject, I have to tell you about a blog I found yesterday. Scroll down to some of his long posts and read read read. You may need to put aside some time for this. You need to visit it because it is genius. And I don't mean that in a blase way. I mean genius. The writer is mesmerising, moving - a man who draws you in by his prose and keeps you there for the story. He is funny and yet tragic, self-deprecating and still a survivor, surreal and yet touching on harsh reality. I hope you visit Alchemy Anyone and I hope that you are moved. Don't go for candy floss and popcorn - this rollercoaster will have you clutching your heart and take your breath away.

5 comments:

Margot said...

Just now I won't have time to read down the blog you mention, I have to prepare and go to work (since I'm a student I work on Sundays) but I'm very moved by what you wrote, both today and yesterday...
Indeed life is a rollercoaster ride, I agree completely...
I'm not a mum yet but I do know these moments of incredible down when you ask yourself what it all matters in fact... But in the end, somehow - I don't know how - everything seems to clear up a little, until the next big doubts cloud our skies up again that is.
But still, it is the little moments of joy, of beauty and of hidden tenderness suddenly discovered that make it all worth I think.
Reading your blog entries is -to me - one of those hidden moments of tenderness...

No, you are not a crazy hormonal woman, you're just human and capable of feeling.
Sensitivity is sometimes hard to carry but it makes a person beautiful and worth knowing... Or reading ;-)

Sarah said...

Margot, I thank you for your words. I count myself very fortunate to be in contact with you. Since I started this blog I have'met' some very kind people. Before this I was always a little afraid of letting myself go, revealing intimacies and afraid that people on-line were maybe axe murderers waiting to strike ! Now, I count my lucky stars that I am part of a community like this. We may never meet or see each others faces, but we support each other and read the most private details of each others lives without judgement, with only thoughtfulness.I feel very touched that you like my meanderings ! S

Margot said...

And I feel very touched that you find yourself lucky after having read my words...
Yes, I shared your pleasure when I realized the wonderful people I had met via the Net...
And about meeting, who knows, I often go to England ^^.

Farm Wife said...

I am so glad you didn't get a chance to delete your post before we all had a chance to chime in. Not only did you need to vent, but some of us needed to know that we aren't the only ones loosing our minds somedays. It's hard, but it's all worth it when you have a little warm body curled up next to you happy and secure in your affections.

Sarah said...

You know, that feeling is the best in the world, isn't it ? Just the best. S