Monday, 4 August 2008

Well, ain't that typical...

Just as I was basking in contentment and happiness along comes disaster. Well, not so much disaster as the threat of it - looming over our heads like the man in the black cloak. My man's job is not looking good. His boss has just been given the boot by the man in charge overall, at least he runs the club for the owner. He is bringing in his own people and that does not bode well for my Man.

God, its just crap isn't it ? Just as life starts to be ok you get kicked in the stomach. That's how it feels tonight as I sit here tapping away. I feel as if some big giant has kicked me in the belly and is about to stamp on me and my family.

Of course the boys are oblivious to all of it and continue to be forever asking for things. "Buy me this, buy me that. Let's go out to eat. " Blah, blah, blah. They just don't understand how awful it is.

I am trying to think positively, not least so that I can support my Man. The weight is heavily on his shoulders and if I can help him in any way I will. At least we are all healthy. I know it sounds trite, but I think that you can get through financial troubles. It may look dark now, but we have each other and we have our health. Money, when it comes down to it is something, of course, you need vitally, but without much of it we will just tighten our belts, cut out any form of luxury and get on with it. If one of us was sick then that would truly be dire.

I could live very cheaply indeed and as long as I have my Man and my boys with me I will be ok. We will be ok. Its just that right now I feel sick to my stomach with worry about the future. The unknown is the worst. Its at times like these that I really wished that I still believed in God, because then I could give all this worry to him. But I don't and I have to pull myself up and get on with it. Nothing has happened yet and you never know what the future holds.

As I say, as long as I have my Man and my boys, healthy, then I will cope with what happens. I think about the people who have to deal with severe illness, or real disaster and think that this is nothing. For goodness sake, girl. Get a grip !! Yesterday I was like the woman on Little House on the Prairie !! Has so much really changed ??


emily said...

I'm sorry you're going through this right now. It IS times like this when a belief in God is helpful. But not religiously speaking, it sometimes helps to believe that there's SOME kind of plan, or SOME kind of reason for all of this, even though we don't know what it is. Like maybe you guys are meant to learn something from this, meant to do something else, is how I tend to look at things.

Of course, a lot of people find my particular line of thinking horribly annoying. If you're one of those, then I'm sorry. Either way, here's hoping it works out quickly.

Sarah said...

Emily, I could never think you horribly annoying !! You are lovely and I appreciate your thoughts.I hope we do learn something from all this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, eh ?S x

Inkling said...

I'm just catching up from Farmwife's blog connection to you. I'm sorry to hear about this uncertainty, and can totally relate.

My husband got laid off 1.5 weeks ago, and I'm pregnant. Not only that, but our landlords are selling the house we rent, so we also are looking to move. But of course, you can't move to a new place without a way to pay rent. So now we are sitting on pins and needles tonight, praying that the lead my husband got a few days ago keeps his word and calls my husband to tell him that he does indeed have work for him tomorrow.

As scary as this is, you are right. Things like health cannot be purchased, while it is possible to live without a job for awhile. This is doable, even if it is hard. Thank you for reminding me of that. I needed to hear it again.