Oh, me , oh my... Back to work and I am glad to say that my little stand/ Bolshy uprising seems to have done the trick. The " stuff " that I disagreed with has been moved from my specific surroundings and dumped on another unfortunate who is not quite as outspoken and stubborn as me... Still, in those immortal words.. " I'm alright, Jack "
All in all I am enjoying my work and the company of colleagues, although I do have to keep reining myself in. I am a bit like one of those frisky horses that champs at the bit and canters on the spot, excited and eager to run away with my rider. I really need to try and be more like the proverbial cart horse, slow, steady and wisely withdrawn. Its easy to rush ahead of oneself and end up with a broken neck in a ditch, waiting for the vet to come and shoot you.
I am feeling generally rather lethargic, despite my self comparison with a frisky young beast. My belly is beginning to be in serious danger of dragging on the ground as I walk. Well, not really, but it does feel like that some days. To combat this I should be running 4 times a week, but I just can't bring myself to. I am quite adept at thinking of very believable excuses not to run. My latest is the sheer bulk I have to carry round with me, coupled with a sore ankle. I can't possibly run today in case I rupture my Achilles... complete rubbish I know, but enough to see me settled on the sofa with a big bowl of crisps.
Actually, today I did do some exercise. I met my friend Sarah for a swim. I love running with Sarah because we are both content to ignore each other as we puff along... and now I love swimming for the same reason. We both did 50 lengths of the pool, but only really chatted when we were out and in the cafe drinking tea. I was chuffed because I sorted out my front crawl breathing so that I breath every 4th stroke. That means alternate side - essential if you plan on doing a triathlon at any stage. Did I mention that little ambition ? No ? Well, its a very distant one and getting more distant every day at the moment. Still, I was chuffed with the swim. 850 metres in 35 minutes. It'll do.
I was pretty grumpy with the boys tonight, just pulling it back at the last moment. You know what its like when you're tired and they're still up and asking for hot chocolate? All you want to do is have some peace and quiet, alone and I just get shorter and shorter with them. In my head I am screaming " Just go to bed for Christ's sake and leave me alone for 5 minutes " but on the outside I am telling them how wonderful they are . Sometimes I think that I am grumpier than I actually am because the stuff inside my head is sooooooooooo bad tempered. But when I think about it, it hasn't managed to find its way out of my mouth. Thank Goodness. When they were really young and I was in the throws of PND I was horrible sometimes.
I used to go back into them when they were asleep and wonder how I could shout at 2 such tiny, innocent babes. Not nice. I am glad to be sane again. Well, as sane as any mum is !
They are both afraid at the moment of the experiment planned for this week in Switzerland. Have you heard about it ? They are colliding particles with the possibility of creating a black hole. When I am done typing here I will look it up to discover more. It is son#2's birthday on Saturday 20th and he is genuinely frightened that he will never be 9. Poor little fellow. I can't believe that scientists would be allowed to conduct an experiment that dangerous ? I keep reassuring them both, but am a little worried myself. Maybe we'll stay home the day of the test and just head into the black hole together, holding hands.....