Saturday, 3 January 2009

Parents are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth...

" Parents are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth "

Peter Ustinov

I will probably post again today, but I had to get this one out of me. I am so angry with my 11 year old. He has been so mean to my Man... in the way that 11 year olds are... you know, the brash, self righteous brutality that sees only a Dad... not a real person who feels and hurts ?

My Man works so hard and in his line of work ( casinos ) he has to put up with a lot of pressure and verbal abuse from punters. He is laid back, accommodating and a genuinely good, kind person. At work and at home he does his best to help and make other people's days go well.

This morning he got home about 3am and was up at 9am to get ready for the day shift. He went downstairs and immediately there was a row. The boys are at that age when they wind each other up all the time. The eldest has developed a habit of, at the first sign of anyone disagreeing with him, throwing his head back and whining " What is your point ???" He can not see that anyone else might have a correct opinion or that he might ever be in the wrong.

This, with lack of sleep, is not a good combination.The upshot of the row is that my Man has left for work with head bent and shoulders low, miserable and depressed.I have sat and talked to my son, tried to explain about how his Dad does so much for us and how hurt he is today. I have tried to give him strategies to avoid days like today. But when it comes down to it I have an 11 year old who just does not understand, the way 11 year olds the world over don't understand, because they are the centre of their universes, and anyone else is a fool. And I have a 44 year old on his way to work that he hates, full of weariness and sadness.I have tried to help him too, told him how much I love him, held him in my arms. All that resulted in was him catching his cheek on my jumper zip, which did not help matters.

Deary me... family life is complicated sometimes. They are both such lovely chaps, but so bloody stubborn.My Man won't be back until about 11pm and then he will be at work again all day tommorrow. I feel so incapable of helping him. At the end of the day I know that he has to help himself... I am not responsible for their arguments... but I hate to see him so low.

1 comment:

Gail said...

Testing his wings!
The older we get, the smarter our parents becme. I can't remember who said that but it makes sense.