Sunday, 8 March 2009

Old age and plastic surgery......would you?

Its been a funny old weekend.I haven't done much, except do stuff for other people.I feel a bit unfulfilled, but I know that is probably hormonal!!

I did get to thinking though.... It was my birthday this week. On Wednesday I was 45. I had a lovely day with my Man and my boys, took cakes into work and everyone was sweet to me there. I love my birthday and enjoy it each year. Every year seems to be a good one ! Lucky old me!!

I have never been one to get depressed about age and ageing. I have to admit that I am conscious of the way I look and I like make up and clothes, but they are not the be all and end all of my life. I am quite happy to go to work or just out generally with no make up on and I don't buy clothes very often. Yes, I am vain, but not to the point where I hate myself without slap or spend money I haven't got on designer clothes.

I started to wonder this week what I would look like as I age. I still look at my Man as the young, gorgeous thing he was when we first met, but I know he is the same age as me. Will I ever look at him and think " Oh Good Grief!! An old man !!??"Or will he look at me and think " Aaaaah!! An old crone!!"

I know that what he looks like is nice, but not that important to me. Its his soul, his inner self that I love. The wrinkles on his brow are sign posts of places we have been together. So, I look at people in the public eye, who are, after all, just like you and me, but better known, and I wonder why they go down the route of plastic surgery?

I cannot believe that I would ever consider surgery to make myself look younger, better. I know I don't have the perfect body or the perfect face, but the body and face I have are... me. I want to look like me, not a tightened botoxed version of me. Now, if other people want to undergo surgery or other procedures then that is up to them, but I just don't understand it.Would you? Have you? Why do people do it?

Don't they know you can tell? I would rather look like me than have people gazing at my hairline to see where the scars are or not be able to frown.It is such a personal thing, but it gets me that it is becoming more and more " normal". My friend, who is in her early 30's, recently had work done and I was shocked. She is a naturally beautiful woman, but felt she wasn't perfect enough. What struck me was not that her body was imperfect, but that her self confidence was damaged... her self image was not what the rest of us saw.She wanted to be "perfect" for her husband.

Isn't this whole industry of plastic surgery and the race to make ourselves perfect in every way just a massive con? A way to make money from people who are lacking fulfillment and self confidence? Does physical perfection make you a better person? What makes someone beautiful? When I worked in casinos there were many women who, on the surface, were gorgeous, but when you got to know them their beauty did not always last. If their character was ugly it was that that pushed its way to the surface and they became ugly. Beauty, they say, is only skin deep. I think its a shame that we focus so much on the exterior, rather than the interior. When you get to know someone you don't stay friends just because they look lovely, do you? You don't stop being friends if someone isn't on the front cover of Vogue.

Confidence and a smile, care for other people and a face wrinkled in laughter is, to me, far more beautiful than any self obsessed super model, or, come to think of it, any everyday person.


Anonymous said...

It's strange you write this as I've been thinking about ageing recently. I'm 37 & I seem to have suddenly starting ageing over the last year - I can see wrinkles forming on my top lip (My mother has these & has never smoked)& I hate them. Even though I wouldn't have surgery; I'm not happy that my face seems to be changing into someone who I don't see as 'me'

Unlike many people, I'm not married so I'm still trying to attract someone - people are superficial & you can't see a personality across the room! So I guess that before I started to age I was against surgery & do think that 'proper' procedures look fake & are not only unnecessary but are the least feminist thing I can imagine - I'm starting to see why people would go for non-invasive treatments like botox & fillers. I don;t agree with them but I'm starting to understand why.

Gail said...

Don't even talk to me about aging! I will be fifty-five. Sarah, believe me, this is notthe time to worry. Another ten years, maybe, but you shouldn't!

Granny always said "Pretty is as pretty does."

Things go a little South but there is beauty in the aging body. I can hold a pencil under my breasts but they still look good in a sweater.

I used to pay to highlight and frost my hair but God is doing that for free now. I must say he is quite the stylist.

My husband still wants me and grabs me every chance he gets.(Thirty-five years this year) So do not worry about being less attactive in your eyes. We are never secure with our looks, thanks to megabillion dollar world of beauty.

I have had surgery to remove growths over one eye, they had to do both eyes so they wouldn't be crooked. I never want to do that again. Unless, of course I start growing horns or something equally repulsive.

Sarah, you are a beautiul woman with heart and soul...why would you change this?

I'm keeping my wrinkles and my drooping parts and every grey hair. I have earned these, like a badge of courage.

I may have jowls but they draw up alittle when I laugh. Probably the most prominant wrinles are you laugh lines. Would you want to remove the memory of that laughter?

Getting down off my soap box now.

Balou said...

As a little girl, I always admired the older women in my life and was comforted by them. As a teenager I wondered why they lived the life they did, how could they be so uncool and I vowed to never end up like that. As a young woman I began to realize their wisdom and experience in life. In my mid-life, I welcome the opportunity to earn my wrinkles, gray hair and slowed steps.

To answer your question - nope! :)

Kork said...

You know something funny? I would never in a million years consider cosmetic surgery for purely cosmetic reasons...if something happened to disfigure me, I would probably do it...

But I am totally addicted to watching the shows that follow the surgeons around their practices performing implants on 18 year old girls...

talk about a dichotomy eh?

I think that I've always admired the lines and marks of old age, because I always associate them with wisdom and experience...there is someone with stories to tell, things to pass along, wisdom to impart...guess I'm sort of freaky that way...I draw the line at coloring my hair, but that is because I was traumatized at the age of 15 when I was very "sparkly" in my hair, and the boy I was utterly in lust with told me in no uncertain terms that he would never go out with someone who looked the same age as his mother...I colored it the next week and have only stopped during my 2 pregnancies...

Sarah said...

Hi Urban Cynic....interesting point you make. People are superficial in many ways and first attractions are based on physical appearance. What you look like does matter, but I'm not sure I would go as far as to inject myself with poison...S

Hi Gail... trust me... I am happy being 45, as I was being 30, 40... its all just a number to me. My droopy bits keep me warm in winter!S

Balou, you and I are very alike!!S

Hi Kork... you know, I love those programmes too!! There's no way though that I would let them do that kind of invasive stuff to me. But it does beg the question" How much tampering is good? Where do you draw the line? " I, too, am not averse to a drop of peroxide and a slather of lip gloss.I love the idea of "sparkly" hair!!! I just prefer to be blonde.S x

Sue Jacquette said...

I have not undergone anything yet, but I have many friends who have. I don't have anything against it and I never say never, but I always loved the look of laugh lines and crows feet. I think they look so pretty on women. Maybe it's the feminist in me, but I just can't do it.

louise said...

I am 45 this year and now all I see when I look in the mirror is my mum! I wear minimal make-up and endeavour not to worry about ever increasing laughter lines, crows feet, deep set wrinkles and shrivelled hands! I think beauty comes from within, my OH of 25 years loves me just the way I am. x

Sarah said...

Hi're right...I may well wake up one morning and think"enough is enough", but somehow I don't think so.Each to their own.S

Hi Louise... yes, I am lucky that my Man seems to quite like me the way I am. And so do I really... saggy bits and all!S