Monday, 20 April 2009
Posted by Sarah Pellew
I found myself in a sudden melancholy this evening. It came from nowhere and now all I want to do is bury myself in bed with a big plate of chips and cry.Why does this happen? The straw that broke the camel's back was my son and his trumpet - a silly spat over a musical note. I went crashing into the kitchen, banging cupboards and crockery for all I was worth. Along the way there were little things like.... other people being able to go off on holidays abroad, me feeling worthless,a compulsory meeting at work tomorrow...
None of it really is enough to push me over the edge, but over I went, screaming inside and generally miserable. There are just days when life is too much. Even writing that it sounds pathetic... What do I have to be miserable about?? Nothing. We both have jobs. We are all healthy. What more do I need?
I think it must just be seratonin levels. Too much? Too little? I don't know.I know it will get better. I'll probably wake up tomorrow feeling great, but right now I feel sad and useless. I don't want to talk to anyone or go anywhere. I want to .... I want to....I don't know what I want.
Thank goodness I have my blog. I can type this stream of consciousness and rid myself of some of the pent up emotion I am feeling. And I know that when I come back here tomorrow there will be someone who has read this and sent me love and understanding without condition in my comment box and that will make me smile and feel better about life and the people out there in the world.
I think I will go and read my book and try to take my mind off all this silliness.