Ok... here I am again.Sorry not to have been here for so long, but life here has been a little manic.First things first... thank you to everyone who has left comments, kind thoughts and advice about my son.You really helped. Let me update you.
Despite being very reluctant to go to school we persuaded my son to go,and you know what? He had a lovely day and a lovely week.The school spoke to him and e-mailed me to say that bullying in any form was unacceptable. utterly.He has not had a problem with these older boys since. Fingers crossed that it continues this way.What a massive relief that it has all been nipped in the bud.
We move on now to problem number two... He has asked me to open a Facebook page for him.We have discussed it and I said no.And then, tonight, I discover that he set it up any way... with my e-mail address and with false info regarding his age.So... I deleted the account and spoke to him about trust, honesty, doing the right thing.
He spent quite a long time telling me that I 'didn't understand' and then that he hated me and wanted me to die.Nice.I don't know about you, but I must have missed out on the instruction leaflet for " how to raise boys" when I left the hospital 11 years ago. I seem to be going wrong somewhere.It is so bloody exhausting trying to help him, support him and, at the same time, deal with him saying such awful things to me.
I know starting a new school is hard for him and he is dealing with all sorts of 'stuff', but blimey o'reilly, why do I get all the grief?? I am flying by the seat of my pants here - trying to run my house, work 20 hours a week, study for a degree and do all the 'kid stuff'.I feel like I am juggling about 15 flaming torches and pretty soon something is going to drop.
I felt that I coped well tonight - I ended up with him calm and apologetic, although still upset clearly. I keep telling him that I love him absolutely, but that I have to be able to trust him.This is all new and untrodden country for us.I am just so grateful that its Half Term next week. I am so tired... Dealing with this sort of thing leaves me feeling like he has ripped out my soul, chewed it up and spat it out at my feet...
On a good note, I am LOVING my course.I have finished my first essay and am just typing it up to send off to my tutor. Its an analysis of a passage of prose from Pride and Prejudice.The more I read and the more I study, the happier I am that I signed up for it. It is my little oasis of calm. It will be very interesting to get it back and see my mark. I have no idea what level I am at, so this first essay will be a benchmark.All the other people at my tutorial nearly fell off their chairs when I said I had done nothing academic for 23 years!! And not in a good way...
One last thing... thank you for signing up to follow me.Thank you for keeping visiting.Please don't stop.