Tuesday, 16 February 2010

A210... Byron, Dacre and failure... and don't even talk to me about the Colour Purple...

Please forgive me if I indulge myself with a few heartfelt tears... I was surprised to see my latest essay back this afternoon....well a few minutes ago, and I am gutted by my mark.The thing is... I worked really hard on it, writing copious notes on Byron and Charlotte bloody Dacre and when I came to write I just could not fit all my ideas in.And so I cut it down to size and, to be honest with you, I really enjoyed writing it.

But now I get it back and my mark is crap and I feel crap and I wonder if my next one will be equally rubbish.I don't even know where to start with the next one - discussing whether Alice Walker portrayed black men as sweet and loveable in The Colour Purple. I am behind with my reading because I worked so hard on the Byron essay and I feel miserable.

Yes, I know, I need to get a life, but this means so much to me and my little old ego is somewhat fragile... I will pull myself together and sort all this out, but before now I have been able to guess pretty much what sort of grade I would achieve... and I thought I had done ok this time... WRONG!!

Maybe I need to think about it this way... I am not doing this to get a mega job, I am doing this for my own satisfaction and, let's face it, I am not going to fail. Even if I get a low pass it will still be a pass. But you know I don't want to do that, don't you? I want to do well and this essay has me thinking that I am not as clever as I hoped.Actually I should never have started this.... if at first you don't succeed, give up because you were probably bound for failure anyway...

I may just go and drink myself to death.


Gail said...

You are a wonderful, intelligent, hard working woman.

What you gain from the course may not be the grades but a different way to view things. Like minds together discussing great works, what could be better than that?

Oh, the things you will learn and the memories you are making. You are also setting a fine example for your young ones. You would not want them to give up, you would encourage them.

You have the power within you to do this, I know. You are Sarah!

Urban Cynic said...

Keep going; if it was easy to get, it wouldn't be worth having. You're not going to breeze everything but you will certainly learn which is what you signed up to do.

PS - I wouldn't say the men in The Colour Purple were sweet; they were all pathetic bullies if I remember. Maybe watch the film to help collect your thought about it. x