Sunday, 25 July 2010

The only good child is a child at boarding school...

Day number 2 in the Secret Housewife House.... The kids and I are on our Summer Holiday break and I have had enough already...

They seem to expect me to provide gourmet meals, day trips out and a constant stream of luxury goods for their amusement. They also seem to think that their part in running our household revolves around lying about in their pyjamas complaining about the general standard of food in the house and the fact that I have not provided pancakes/french toast for breakfast.

Unfortunately they seem unaware of the fact that I expect them to muck in with their share of chores i.e emptying the dishwasher, tidying their rooms,laying the table, clearing the table, putting out/taking in the washing.... the list goes on.The looks of incredulity when I ask them to do something for me rival the proverbial rabbit in the headlamp moment...

At the moment they are playing football in our postage stamp of a garden. This is something that I have asked them not to do because they have no control of the ball and end up destroying my plants as well as generally being very annoying.I have asked them 4 times not to play football and they have whined that there is ' nothing else to do'.

I had to walk away for the minute as I feared what my actions might be. It is difficult to describe the rage that begins to swell within me... the utter loathing of all things under the age of 12. I, apparently, am completely unreasonable. They are martyrs who are put upon and abused by their cruel mother.

I am seriously considering having them fostered out to some unsuspecting family... I have discovered a housing development in Scotland which is only open to those childless couples over the age of 45. I will be selling up and moving there, sans enfants, in the near future and they will only have themselves to blame.

9 comments:

Gail said...

I have the same problem with visiting adult children!

Helena Halme said...

I laughed out loud, I've soooo been there, as the kids would say. I find a glass(or ten)of chilled white wine helps. Failing that, lock yourself in a darkened room with a bottle of gin and a few cans of tonic. You can see where I'm going with this...

A GREAT post!

Helena xx

Lo said...

It's about time I heard something bedsides treacle to describe children. I totally approve of your plan to move to a childless community in Scotland. "Nothing to do"....OOOOOH...I hate that!

Urban Cynic said...

Haha! I love it when you post these kinds of stories - it makes me feel really good about myself & very satisfied with my life choices.

Seriously though; I think you should put an advert in the paper & see if you can swap them for a puppy. Even if it's just one of them.

I've noticed you're blogging more now you have your lap top. This is a good thing.

sarah at secret housewife said...

Thank you chaps... Feeling much better now kids are in bed and half bottle of Merlot has been consumed. Seriously considering puppy option and moving to Scotland Thurday.xx

Kelly Hudgins said...

It's the same over here. "What are we going to do today?" follwed by whining. School August 23rd. Yay.

Sophia said...

I wish I could say that I relate or understand, but I do not have any children at this point in my life. I will definitely remember your posts when/if I do! :) hee hee

Studentmum said...

I feel your 'pain' for want of a better word, and sadly it gets no easier once they are over 12. Everything is so expensive, TV and the PC is very addictive and it is tempting to leave them there, because at least they are quiet! The summer holidays seem so much harder these days, even my mother agrees with this. There used to be so much free entertainement in the local parks when I was younger. I wish they had the freedom to roam as I did at their age, or I wish I had the courage to allow them to 'roam' is probably more the point. I am booking my place in that scottish place today!

Caz said...

As I said to Student Mum - good luck!!! It is nice to know that mine aren't the only ones who treat the house like a hotel and me like their maid, chauffeur and events manager!!!