My son has been invited to a birthday party.My son is 11 on Monday and his own birthday party consists of 3 friends, his brother and my husband and I going to the cinema and then out for lunch. The party he has been invited to is for 50 children, at a swimming pool from 8pm to 9.30pm some other day.
My son's usual bed time is 9pm and although he does sometimes stay up later than this the thought of him being in a swimming pool at that time of night with 49 other children... is ridiculous to say the least. Call me old fashioned and an over protective mother, but I am feeling really quite irritated that the parents of his friend have been so blasé and, frankly, irresponsible.
I could, of course, tell him he can't go, but then his friend would be upset because this friend is supposed to be his best friend.I also do not want to upset his friend's mother. However, their feelings are not really my priority - my son's safety is. I know the sort of behaviour that will be acceptable at the party and its not the sort of behaviour that I am comfortable with.
In the past I have avoided play dates because of lack of supervision. The last time my son played at their house he came home very proud that he had saved his friend's life.When I asked how he had saved him he said that they had been playing out in the front of the house and his friend had been in the road. A car had come down the road, not seen the boy and my son had dragged him out of the way just in time.He was 8 at the time. When I asked why they were out on the road and where the mummy was I was told that this was usual practise and mummy had been in the house.He has not played there since.
I am too much of a wimp to be honest and up front about this event, but it has tainted my opinion ever since and I have backed off from my friendship. This latest problem is just another example of how different we are. I suppose, to be honest, I am controlling, she is easy going. We each have the right to parent as we please. She is a lovely person and if our children were not an issue everything would be fine. But they are an issue. I am unhappy trusting my children with her or her offspring.
Next year they will all go to new and different schools and the problem will be over hopefully, but for now I have to decide what to do. Do I let my son decide for himself and hope everything is fine? Do I say no to the party and tell the truth as to why he can't come? Or do I say he can't come and make up an excuse, somewhere between the truth and a kind place? I just don't know...