Wednesday 15 June 2011

Coping with a teenager... just about.

My little blond boy has turned overnight into a teenager ... I have never had a teenager in the house, but I am doing my best to cope. It is really quite odd... one moment he is my boy - well behaved, polite, caring - the next moment he is scowling, angry and bolshy.

I am trying my best to KEEP CALM. I am trying to be reasonable, pick my battles and not raise my voice. This is sometimes easier to aim for than actually do. When confronted with a lumbering mass of hair and hormones who is refusing to empty the dishwasher it is sometimes tempting to just let him get away with murder or, on the other hand, just scream at him to empty the bloody thing and do as he is told.

I do remember, however, the advice of my grandmother who told my mum ( who now tells me regularly) "If you let a 5 year old get the better of you, God help you when they are 15! " I have just had a 'moment' over the dishwasher emptying thing. Apparently it was absolutely unfair of me to ask him to empty then load it. He did, however, eventually do what I asked. 15 minutes of arguing the toss, 5 minutes of doing it. I didn't lose my temper and when he had done it he was fine.

I suppose things could be worse. He is basically a good young man. He likes being at home with us and most of the time he gets on well with his brother. If the worst thing that I can moan about during his teenage years is him stealing a bag of mini cheddars or arguing about whether or not he wants to empty the dishwasher I reckon I will look back and be happy.

Somehow I need to keep him onside and keep our relationship on an even footing. He has to realise that I am in charge.There are rules. Its a question of give and take isn't it? I suppose he's testing the water to see what he can get away with ...

This evening I have won the battle. He is sitting here clean, happy, watching football on the telly and unharmed from his foray into the world of dishwasher work. Let's hope I keep winning and one day I will wake up and a fine young man will emerge from his bedroom like a butterfly from a cocoon - sweetly smelling, on time and offering to make me a cup of tea.


4 comments:

Sharon Longworth said...

And then, once the perfect man emerges from the teenage cocoon, you can write a best-selling book about how you achieved that - guaranteed to sell; it's a mystery I strove, but never quite succeeded, to resolve....
I hope your dreams come true:)

Pauline said...

I noticed you mentioned my only advise to my daughter when grandson number one entered his teens - pick your fights, don't sweat the small stuff. That was my only mantra when my sons were teenagers. Grandson is now a delightful nearly 18 year old - and he's still on dishwasher duty!

Urban Cynic said...

Teenagers *shudder* The best way to approach it I guess is to get him to see that now he's becoming a real adult, he has a responsibility to participate in how the household is run - so he's a collaborator rather than an underling. If he thinks his input is needed as his rite of passage into adulthood he might see it as a responsibility he is proud of rather than something he 'has to do'.

Good luck with that one anyway - I spose its too late to sell him to Barnardos?

Caz said...

I have a 17 and a half year old daughter who still cannot remember to close her bedroom window when she leaves the house or turn off the lights she leaves on all night long! She won't do anything unless I ask her to and I too have considered just letting her get away with it rather than harping on her every day because it's exhausting!!!! Keep going!! XX