Hail stones, The Colour Purple and Lord Byron...

Outside it is cold.Very cold.Hail has been falling this afternoon....and it is like nothing I have seen before - big soft white balls, as if a polystyrene ball carrying aeroplane had ditched its load high above in the clouds.Most odd, but rather nice.

I am pleased to say that my essay on Helen Maria Williams' poem To Dr Moore netted me my best mark yet 81%. I was really chuffed with my tutor's comments too. I notice from one of my visitor's comments ( Susan that's you!) that it appears I am not enjoying my course. Far from it! I love my course, but I have to admit that the Romantic Poets are not really my bag. Also I tend to escape to my blog when the going gets rough and this results in more than my fair share of moaning. It is, however, cathartic as I come away with renewed vigour.I just leave all of you feeling depressed!! Sorry!!

I would love to read some of the other people on my course's essays.It is strange to work in isolation for most of the time.Still, maybe its just as well that I don't. This way all the ideas I put down are my own.

I have been watching The Colour Purple this afternoon.It is part of my next module and I am looking forward to studying it very much. I just hope that I can write essays through my tears!! I would love to hear from you if, like Susan and I you are studying A210 at the Open University.Right now though I have an essay to write on Lord Byron and his Don Juan. I can now write it with a modicum of confidence!!

Degree hopes disappear down toilet...

I have struggled to remain chirpy today as the reality of completing my Degree has begun to hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. I have to get 100 points, made up from probably 2 Year 3 courses of 60 points each. I will be or would have been doing this part time, through the Open University, whilst I continue to work.


Now, going straight in to a Third Year course after 25 years of no study, no essay writing, is quite something. Choosing my subject is quite something. I spoke to an advisor yesterday and was pretty excited at doing a Second Year French course. This starts in February and runs through until October, I think, next year. Its pretty hard, but achievable.


But then I started thinking.Ok... one course at Level 2, will get me 60 points, but at the wrong level. I would still have to do 2 more courses at Level 3. Another 2 years worth on top of the Level 2. I know, its complicated, but stick with me!!


So, I can't go straight in at Level 3 with French and looking at the English courses... well they just blow me away. And they all cost... between £600 and £1100 per course. That's £2500 before I even think about books or residential parts.


And there is my age, too. 3 years to finish my Degree. 1 year to do a PGCE ( Post Graduate Certificate of Education). By the time I start looking for a teaching job I will be 50.


And through all this, we can't even afford to take our kids on holiday... so why am I chasing a pipe dream? By the time I finished they would be 16 and 14 . I am not making any snap decisions, but it looks like a luxury we can't afford, just to satisfy a whim of mine.


If I can learn anything from this, it will be not to let my own children fail their potential. The girl I was 25 years ago had the world at her feet and I let it all slip away. If I start going down the route of could have, would have, should have..... well I would go mad. It happened and I don't have too much to complain about when I look at my life. But, I won't let that happen to my boys. I won't let them walk away from their potential without even a conversation.

I think that this has taught me a valuable lesson, and when it comes down to it I have a good life. If I hadn't dropped out of University I would not have met my Man. Let's face it - we can't all have everything in life, can we?