Sunday 1 April 2007

Still in fantasy land.........


Oh good grief. When these hormones kick in they really kick in. Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. What am I thinking of? Here I am, a middle aged woman in England, leading a safe, normal life. 2 kids, husband. Life planned out. All very normal, safe, dull.




But, my goodness it is too dull sometimes. I would like to get swept away to a beach somewhere. Have my skin salty and dark and my hair bleached by the sun. I don't want to do Tescos, I want to paint alone in a garret somewhere in France. I want to be the mysterious English woman, alone, with a past that is a secret. With a broken heart from a love never to be spoken. I want to be strong, silent and yet strangely warm, needing the love of a soldier back from the war......




Oh my God!!! That cold shower has just not worked. What is happening to me??!! I think that I am possibly entering the realms of madness. Believe me, I have been there before, but through a different door. This is certainly more enjoyable than silent sobbing, so hey, maybe I should just sit back and enjoy?! Maybe we all need our quota of insanity, and if I'm not out there with a switchblade then its probably ok. Isn't it ?



I'll end up a batty old lady in purple, muttering to myself as I amble around the park. Children will wonder who "Daniel" was as I shamble past, fingers stained with paint and donut sugar.


I think I should have lived a long time ago. Maybe I did. Maybe shards of a previous life are cutting through to 'now'. OK STOP. That is too much. I have to take Margots advice and go have a hot chocolate. This is the key to life. Chocolate. And things could be worse..... I could be dreaming of some bloke with matted hair down his back and skinny legs........




3 comments:

Margot said...

Poor Sarah... This hormones really do get you in a weird state, don't they? I'm sure it's just a matter of time before you settle with your normal, dull life again ;-)
And dreaming is not sooo bad after all ;-)

How was the chocolate?

trixie stix said...

Well. . . you could knit? *giggle*

Who says we can't enjoy a little fantasy now and then? Vibrant women, such as us, need a little happy to look at now and then.

Sorry I was away for a few days. . . glad to be back.

trixie stix said...

Well. . . you could knit? *giggle*

Who says we can't enjoy a little fantasy now and then? Vibrant women, such as us, need a little happy to look at now and then.

Sorry I was away for a few days. . . glad to be back.