Sunday, 2 December 2007

What Im scared of...

Do you know I am so scared that I will end up like my Mum. I am scared of alienating my children as she has done, of making them feel worthless. I want to hold them and love them and be the best mum, but I am selfish and impatient. I am scared that my impatience is the same as my mum's. I can only remind myself that I do hold my children and tell them that I love them. I do try to be a good person. At least I am aware of the dangers I might fall into. But being aware doesn't stop me from being afraid.

5 comments:

FarmWife said...

I think recognizing the problem will take you further than you can imagine.

You are a good person & a wonderful mother. That I can tell by how you talk about your boys.

BTW, come on over. I'll fix us a pot of coffee, break out my snuggliest blankets, and pop some kettle corn.

Josh said...

I don't think you have a thing to worry about. There are times when you can actually learn from other peoples' mistakes...and this is one of them. Just as my parents take it upon themselves to drink day in and day out...that is something I won't ever do. Granted, I like to have a few drinks and have a great time...I won't get to the point of alcoholism.

I think you're a fantastic mom, wife, and woman. :)

Sarah said...

You know, I count myself very fortunate to have met you two. Thanks for your thoughts. S

Margot said...

It's true that being aware doesn't stop us from being afraid.
I don't what to say to you, except that I think you're being afraid for not much because you really 'read' like a wonderful mum.

Mum's the Word said...

I know your fear and have to battle everyday not to fall into my mom's traps. You can do it. The awareness is the first step and the fear is necessary. When we stop being afraid of making the mistakes, the awareness is mute. Fear keep us vigilant. You are a good mom and you will be fine!
JJ