Tuesday, 29 July 2008

The Great Fish Pie Disaster...

I watched with drooly, salivary envy as Marco Pierre White served up fish pie for his great British Feast last week. Succulent pieces of fish, coated in rich creamy sauce, topped with smooth mash... It brought back memories of my mum's fish pie. Fish pie and peas. Oh, how scrumptious. A pleasure denied me for some years now due to a sensitivity to cod ( can't risk the presence of cod when I'm in a restaurant due to unattractive rashes and even less attractive swelling )

Still, the image of that fish pie kept coming back into my head. In the end I could bear it no longer. I had to make it. My boys had asked me for more fish on our teatime menu so I was keen to oblige.

Poverty prevented me from indulging in a whole pie of fresh haddock so I compromised with some smoked haddock and some cut price salmon. Lovingly I poached the fish, with milk and butter and bay leaves. I made the sauce with the reserved milk. I peeled potatoes, mashed potatoes until they were creamy and smooth. I tasted everything as I went along.

With triumph I placed the dish on the table - a symphony of crispy, cheesy top over tender, creamy exquisitely cooked fish ( even though I do say so myself !!) A bowl of garden peas lay steaming expectantly, buttery in anticipation of the pie, of the melding of sea and countryside...

Uuuuuugghhhhh!!!!! I'm not eating that !!!!!!! Its disgusting !!!!! What's that orange stuff ??!!

And there... in those few short words you have the answer to the question " Why do mothers kill their children ? " To those 2 little fiends it mattered not a jot that their dear mama had laboured half the day to produce this masterpiece. I would have had gained a similar reaction if I had placed a plate of vomit before them. My husband, wisely, praised me on my culinary genius and helped himself to 3 large plates full. I, myself, ate 2 plates and it was, indeed delicious. But the boys ?? No.

I wonder why, sometimes, I spend so much time slaving over organic this, free range that... poaching, steaming, baking... Perhaps if I just bought a packet of oven chips and a few chicken nuggets ?? No. I refuse. One day these little buggers will thank me for this. As their friends keel over from an excess of e numbers and saturated fats, my 2 boys will be healthy. Even if they have to starve to death in the process, damn them...

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