So, today was the first day at Secondary school for my son #1.He came into the bathroom at 7.15 this morning, all dressed and ready in his uniform. I asked him how he felt, expecting him to say "Scared" or "Excited" and in fact he said..." I feel so grown up". I felt so proud of him at that moment and struck by the realisation that yes, he is grown up...or at least well on his way.
m'boy
His friends called for him and off they went together. We had previously taken our usual first day photos. Both boys pose for these happily and both couldn't wait to get to school. I just love the fact that both are keen to learn and eager to do well.When I see some children who hate school and have no enjoyment in it my heart sinks. I am so lucky that my boys are happy and well adjusted.
God... I am starting to sound like the bloody Sound of Music here aren't I? Oh, my kids are so wonderful and we all sing in a barbershop quartet whilst baking cookies and performing open heart surgery... You will know, if you have been here before and read further than the first couple of lines of my drivel, that we are far from that. My first post ever was written on New Year's Eve in 2006, in a haze of misery and rage - alone again with the kids-when every other human ( it seemed to me) was out drinking, partying and having a generally banging time.
We have come a long way from that night. I am probably in a honeymoon period, just before ( as Urban Cynic so beautifully commented! ) they end up smoking crack behind the bike sheds. But hey, if we are having a rose tinted, honeymoon moment then I am going to bathe in the sweet nectar of ignorant bliss. Right now life is good and I am going to savour it - even if I do sound like Julie Andrews.
Times like today, when I see them both so happy and confident make it all worth while...all the self doubt and misery! I think to myself that maybe, just maybe, I might end up with wonderful young men with families of their own. Men who are good and kind like their dad. I think I spend most of my time afraid that they are going to die in some dreadful way, or end up on drugs or.... well, or just something awful that my imagination drags up.
Is it really possible that we could go through all this and succeed?Even daring to think of it scares me...Am I putting a bok on it all by writing about my hopes? Don't be silly.What will be will be and all I can do is love them and try to guide them the best I can. They drive me nuts and make me angrier than any human has ever managed to do... but I would die for them and watching them this morning made my heart swell with pride.
There... I'd better stop. I really am turning into Julie Andrews...
9 comments:
You sound like a proud mother and you have every right to be!
Be proud, you should be. Store up these moments to be remembered when you join Mad Manic Mamas.
I'm glad you compared yourself to Julie Andrews. That movie always reminds me of my first child. We took her to a walk in movie, her first, when she was a few years old. The movie was Sound Of Music with Julie Andrews. I remember getting some grumpy glances from other movie goers but our little girl was fascinated with the singing and the entire movie. Today she is a wonderful mom and has achieved much in her life. Time goes by so fast. Cherish your memories and snap those photos and write things down for your next stage in life when they are grown.
Why can't I stop "Doe A Deer" from continuously looping in my brain now, Julie?
Sounds like you've got everything under control. It's the haters that are smoking crack behind the sheds, not the properly raised kids who have been taught values. So you can exhale now. :)
Thanks for the great read and congratulations for your POTD metion from David McMahon.
Stopping in from authorblog and his mention of you for his post of day. Congrats. You have every right to be rellishing in these moments of such happiness and of things being all right in your world. Because like you said, it isn't always this way...you talk about how far you've come since you started this blog. I think that is awesome.
As a mother who once felt like you did when my now grown children were growing up. There are no gaurentees when we raise our children but the odds are in our favor when we are raising them with such love and intent. Our children drive us nuts when we love them so madly but believe me when I say, they do get it and grow up to be great people.
Great honest post that shows your mother heart.
Ah so you're getting a bit of the Julie Andrews after all. It's funny how she keeps popping up ( like a bad penny you would say ).
Love that photo it really captures childhood.
Do a Dear a Female Dear...
Just popped in to say congratulations on your runner up for POTD, as I read your post I thought how wonderfully deserved this is for you.
You sound like a normal, wonderful mom who is proud of her great sons. May you have many more days like this one......:-) Hugs
Wow!!!! My e-mail is still down so this was a huge surprise to me when I looged onto my blog just now!!
What a thrill!!!! Thank you all for your brilliant comments - I will pop by and visit you in person as soon as I can - but for now, thank you for visiting, thank you to David and do please come back!!
Sarah xx
what great kids!
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