Saturday, 23 January 2010

A210 tutorial... am I just stupid?

I went to a poetry tutorial today - on Don Juan and the women poets, Charlotte Bury, Laetitia Elizabeth Landon and Charlotte Dacre. They and their poems are part of my Open University course - more importantly, part of my next assignment.I enjoyed my last essay, but have not yet had it back and the passing time is creating doubt in my mind. Did I answer the question correctly? Did I understand the poems? Did I, in fact, make a complete plonker of myself?!

So, today was my tutorial and I went feeling a tad lacking in confidence, as is my wont. I left feeling even more unconfident, if there is such a word. I don't know why really.The other students are very nice, with varying levels of ability it would seem. My tutor is lovely too. But I just came away feeling like a dork.

I think I just read too much into what people say, how they look at me, blah, blah, blah. At this point do please feel free to throw an imaginary shoe at me and tell me to shut up.I know... I am 45 and 3/4 and still acting like a teenager.Miss, miss.. she looked at me funny...

I walked to my car and put on Beyonce so loud that my ears started to bleed.... well, you know that is a lie, don't you? But it was pretty loud. Loud enough for for people passing my car to consider me a chav. If my son had been with me he would have turned it down and looked at me with embarrassment. Still... he wasn't and she made me feel better. I sang my heart out to her and by the time I reached home I didn't care if people did think I was a dork, or a chav, or useless at poetry.

I will let you know when I get my results. You never know... I might be a poetry genius!!


Gail said...

You will do fine, I can feel it.

Susan said...

Hi, I am doing the same course and when I came across your blog it felt as though you had reached into my mind and read my thoughts. When I first read the Byron poem I thought "isn't Byron a plonker supercilious and I could just slap him!". Reading the other love poem was just so depressing but I don.t know how but I have managed to almost finish the comparison. I too am not really enjoying this A210 course but surprisingly I am achieving quite good marks, I have not a clue how! If I can do it, so can anybody ( 'cor I sound like life coach, sorry)