Sunday, 2 June 2013

If you have nothing good to say, say nothing.

My brother, the other day, said "Why do you feel the need to tell the whole world about your private life? I don't understand!" He made me think ... and I suppose it is a bit odd. I don't tell you everything that goes on in my life, but I do say a lot. I suppose I have always written and this is an extension of my miserable poetry and diary keeping. I don't mean to show off and I don't mean to upset anyone. Sometimes though I may appear to do both. I received a comment on my last post which really made me think. It actually really upset me and put a shadow over my Graduation, which was a shame.

The thing is, I let it upset me. I should have been stronger and taken no notice. I should have shown a bit of backbone and buried the one peevish comment under the avalanche of positivity and love that was shown me by everyone else. I should expect, if I am prepared to put my private life on the internet, that there will, occasionally, be people who are offended by what I write or just plain disagree with me - perhaps they read between lines and see something that is not actually there at all.. That is absolutely their right. I don't expect everyone to think like me. I think that it was the timing of this comment that hurt though. The one day that I wanted to feel that I had achieved something, had done well, had an undercurrent of self doubt that cut me to the quick.

This is my blog. I write it because I have to write to stay sane. I write about the good, the bad, the exciting and the frustrating. I was so so touched by my friend P who told me she loved  reading my blog because I wrote about how crap life was sometimes and not just about the good days. She didn't realise how much that meant to me.

I did think that perhaps I should stop writing, or at least stop sharing my writing with so many people. But no, I am not going to change. I am going to keep on writing as I always have and I will just have to learn not to be upset by people who don't like what I scribble. I have never set out to hurt anyone with my writing. My mum always said that if you have nothing good to say then say nothing and I think that applies to both blog posts and blog comments.

I want to thank all of the wonderful people who came through the ether, some of whom had never commented on a blog before. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for your support over the years. Thank you for making me feel good about myself and thank you for allowing me to have a moment of pride in something I never thought I would achieve. I know I am never going to be a captain of industry or an academic genius, but you made me feel so special and so loved. You are the people who make life worthwhile.


Lo said...

Sarah, my dear......don't you DARE stop writing your wonderful, charming, inspirational, honest blog because of one worthless twit. I am horrified that someone spoiled your great day and magnificent achievement and sorrier still that it hurt and upset you so much.

I do hope you can erase it from your mind and let that space fill with all the love, respect and appreciation we are all all sending you.

Besides your wonderful writing, and beautiful soul, it is thanks to you that I have lost 3 pounds and am feeling so much better. Bless you for telling me about the FastDiet! You help us in more ways than you even know.

Love, Lo

sarah at secret housewife said...

Oh Lo!! You are wonderful!! I wish we lived closer! Thank you for your lovely words! You are one of the people who lift me up and make me feel great! And I am sooooo glad you have lost 3 pounds!! Wooohooooo!!! Sarah xxxxx

Older Mum said...

Sorry to hear about this comment, and that it got to you. Carry on writing likes its your last sentence on earth. Writing is my sanity saver too! X

sarah at secret housewife said...

Yes, Older Mum - I will! And what a lovely way of putting it. I am so looking forward to meeting you!! Sarah x

Urban Cynic said...

What you have to remember Sarah is that some people are just dicks. The world is full of them and in my experience, they usually try to pull people down to make themselves feel better about their own life choices.

I'd hate it if you stopped writing your blog as you're right, it's reading about REAL life not just the stupid Facebook "look at me having a wild and crazy fun time - look at me having FUUUUUUNNNNN!!!" it's unrealistic and frankly boring. Give me someone's real life any day. A life filled with ups and down & rounds and abouts. That is what helps others see that they're not alone. There are so many boring blogs out there and yours is not one of them.

I'm sorry that some unkind cockhead made you feel bad and put a dampener on your day - but damn.. aren't you relived you're not them?

Sudheer Kumar said...

Your writing is beautiful and touches the heart. Whoever left those comments must have had a really bad day. Thanks for writing.