Friday, 5 April 2013

Life with Teenage Boys ... give me strength.

I have just eaten a date and cranberry hot cross bun followed by a large mug of tea. I am allowed to do that because today is not a fast day ( see previous 2 posts ...) The reason I have eaten this frankly delicious combo of carbs and caffeine is because I share a house with two teenage boys. If I allowed myself full rein I would have eaten the whole packet of said hot cross buns ...

This holiday has consisted of me nagging them to revise for exams ... me nagging them to wash ... me nagging them to help around the house ... I have tried bribery and various other forms of corruption as well as the old fashioned "Do this or I will kill you!" technique. And, at the end of the day, none of it works. They are, before my very eyes, turning into two morose, lazy, rude, x-box obsessed monsters.

These are not my boys ... photo courtesy of the Guardian.

I know this is harsh. Despite this fact I do still love them and would probably throw myself infront of a speeding bullet to save them, but quite often these days they are rather hard to like. This may not be the accepted school of thought for a mum to take, but this is my blog and I'll write what I want to.

I have tried reasoning, tried cajoling, tried shouting, tried bargaining ... and nothing works. I wanted to do something with them each day ... visiting places, going to the cinema, going out to eat ... and yet they show no interest in this. This afternoon I had planned on taking them to the cinema and to McDonalds for lunch. I gave them a choice of films ... The eldest refused point blank to go. The youngest came along, but was so rude when I said he would be having the McDonalds for lunch rather than after the film for tea, that I took him straight back home.

So that is it. I have told them that I will no longer nag. They assure me that revision is under control and they "know what to do ..." so its over to them. If they are so grown up then they can jolly well get on with it. I will spend the next week of this holiday doing what I want to do ... garden centre, exhibitions, dinner, allotment. And they can continue with their x- box, their lap top, their ipad. They can fry their brains with internet waves and grow their thumb muscles to obscenely huge sizes through their obsessive use of gaming controls.

And when they fail their exams they will face an electronic free world. There will be no mercy. There will be no x-box, no .... nothing with a screen or a twiddly control. I am so sick of their attitude, their arrogance and their addiction to You Tube, Fifa 13, Minecraft and Facebook. I am no longer going to nag them ... the ball is firmly in their court. I hope they prove me wrong and both come out with shining results, but I fear they are in for a nasty shock.

You may think me a terrible mother and you may be right. I have never claimed to be a good mum. I know my boys could be much worse. They could be out on the streets drinking or doing drugs, having under age sex and vandalising the local cricket club pavilion ( God, how middle class does that sound ... ) but what I want is for them to achieve their potential. I hate to see an A grade student getting Bs and Cs, refusing to write anything down or read his set books. I hate feeling so incredibly frustrated and rejected by them. They do not want to spend time with me and consider me stupid and petty. They drive me nuts with their attitude and their complete lack of enthusiasm for anything.

I have spent the last 15 years doing my best for them and all they do is behave as if its their God given right to do what they want, when they want, with no regard for anyone else. I suppose to some of you my post might sound a bit pathetic, and reading it back I would tend to agree with you, but I am going crazy with frustration here. What happened to my little boys??

The day I see them both happy, in good jobs, with loving partners and their own obnoxious teenagers ... I will shriek with joy ...


Sarah said...

Boys are gits but you are still the most important person in the world to them. (It's me again - we have so much in common!) Ha! Will stop leaving comments now this is getting weird!

blurose_in_ok said...

Hi good that you visited my blog. As you probably know I live in Oklahoma...where in the world are you? (
I am so happy to know we are both doing the fast diet...I do not know anyone in United states that is giving it a go, but then again it seems to be just now catching on here. I will start my 3rd week (5th fast day) on Monday. Do you have a schedule you follow as well?
As for your boys... Oh how I remember the frustration. I have raised my boys and they are grown now. I was a younger mom and I DON'T miss what you brought back to memory. Hang in there, you will survive!

sarah at secret housewife said...

Hello!! Yes I loved your blog! Lots of people here are doing the Fast Diet.I am fasting on Mondays and Thursdays and then keeping an eye on my calorie intake the rest of the time ( just to make sure I don't go over the 2000 mark. To be honest thats easy as I just dont eat that many calories usually.
I am from the UK ... about an hour away from London.
I look forward to seeing how your fast diet goes - you have already done amazingly by the looks of your blog! Sarah x

Anonymous said...

I'm curious as to your obvious dislike of the boys' behaviour when the culprit hand-held devices probably came from you or your means, right? Sometimes we as parents have to lead by example...what would happen to your family if you were sans TV or iPads/iPods, etc.? I bet you all would blossom.

sarah at secret housewife said...

Hello Anonymous! You are half right about the said devices! My sons saved up and bought the x-box themselves, but the ipad is a family thing and the boys each have a lap top which we bought because they need them for homework.
Since I wrote my post we have removed the x-box completely - much to the boys' disgust. Its removal has had an interesting and very welcome effect. They have been going out to play football and each day I have taken them out to ... the garden centre, a family party ... and so on.
Although they did not want to do any of the above they actually enjoyed each activity. I am determined to limit their use of electronics and go back to what we always did before, namely bike rides, walking, visiting places.They don't like not having the x-box, but they have no choice, even though they bought it themselves. As I have explained to them, I am the parent and it is sometimes my responsibility to make decisions that they don't like, for their own good. Sarah x

Anonymous said...

awesome Sarah!...

(I came upon your site after doing a search about the Mosley Fasting Diet...I'm really not here to irritate you!)

sarah at secret housewife said...

Hi Anonymous!! You didnt irritate me at all!! You made an interesting point and I really enjoy the interaction!! Thanks for commenting and I hope you keep coming back ! Sarah :0)